ok so i've only been a step mom for almost 2 years. may not be new to some but to me i'm still "learning". I'm young compared to my dh he's 50 (almost 51) and i'm 27 (almost 28) my daughter is almost 8 and youngest sd just turned 13 friday and middle sd wb 15 in july oldest is grown and in TN (not an issue with her).

I was raised with step parents on both sides, knew my sd well growing up (hated him) and because dad wasn't there just spent last 10 years getting to know sm and in june gave her my ok to call me her d and say "our daughter" when introducing me to ppl-we're close.

I have told my sd's that even though i'm not mom, they will treat me as mom of the house and respect as such. I'm also on the other side of the stick (mom dealing with sm) and try NOT to do with my sd's what i don't approve my d's sm doing (being over involved or over stepping boundaries). being the rewarder while dh is the diciplinary, and i DONT' talk to bm about NOTHING even relaying messages or such when i'm by myself picking up sd's i tell her to call dh (to avoid miss communication error's)

what are some things you practice in your home, how do you get your step kids to open up to you and what are boundaries you think are too far for a sparent? dh's ex is EXTREMELY difficult to work with, if it's not ordered it's not gonna happen...regardless

just kinda need to know i'm on the right track with them cause MANY times i really don't want them around but i feel so guilty for feeling that way (yes dh knows this)