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not sure how to handle this

smurfy1smile's picture

BF and I finally found out BM's new man's name. She said he was recently divorced and has 3 kids. Well the three kids is right but he is still married and they only filed the beginning paperwork for a divorce in April. They don't even see the judge until last September. So anyway, I researched the new man and he has 2 counts of domestic assault in the past year and a half. The second one was days before he filed for divorce. BF and I are concerned for the welfare of his BS 8 months. The new man's 18 year old daughter is living in the house that BM is supposed to sell and there have been numerous police calls to that house too.

A while back, when we went to pick up FSS, BM was wearing a long sleeve shirt and long pants. Normally she is wearing shorts and a spagetti strap tank top and her boobs are hanging out (no bra)no matter the temp outside. That day it was quite hot and BM handed FSS over in a onsie and diaper. She has always claimed they both get hot easily. So what is BM hiding under those long clothes? Is the new man being abusive to her just like he was to his wife?

I am waiting for copies of the pre-divorce paperwork and any police calls to the new man's former residence. Plus the wife had a restraining order against BM's new man earlier this year but it was dismissed so I will have to get that information too.

Will BM ever make good choices for herself and baby? Probably not, but, maybe just maybe this new information will be the leverage BF needs to keep joint custody and get more parenting time with his son.

Comments

Most Evil's picture

The long sleeves etc. does sound weird and like hiding something. Is she that hard up that she is taking on a girlfriend-beater now?

Yes I would document everything like you are, although honestly it sounds like this will blow up and they will split before anything could happen to your FSS. I know you will keep a close eye on them!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

fed-up's picture

Hello everyone,
I'm new to this site but have been a step mom for 21 years.
It was pretty hard at first and it still has it's challenges but I always seem to be able to work things out. I look forward to talking with all of you

Sia's picture

you might want to post this in a personal blog, that way, everyone will see it. Welcome!!!! We look forward to getting to know you as well. Smile

Sia's picture

the physical abuse thing. I would be more concerned about the baby's welfare, they do tend to cry a lot. You're doing the right thing by checking it all out, but why isn't DH doing it?

smurfy1smile's picture

My job is research and I am nvery good at it. My DH works outside the home and I work from home so I have more time to devote to research. He does alot too and we compare notes. I just have access to more stuff like court records due to my job. I can get them for free and not have to travel to get them besides they are public information so anyone can do what I am doing. I just takes time and patience.

Sia's picture

it all under control, girl. I always did the checking into stuff b/c my DH wasn't really interested in any of it......was just wondering if you were doing the same thing I was. I wish I would have stayed out of it. I am sure you already know to document everything!

smurfy1smile's picture

I wish I would have had access to the stuff I do now when I was getting divorced 7 plus years ago. I don't think the battle would have been as tough.

Yes, we document everything. My calander looks like a soap opera. LOL

MOMMYOFTWO's picture

I did the same thing with BM's Ex BF. I checked all his background stuff and had it all on hand . BM had 6 domestic violence calls on him and then bailed him out EVER TIME and wrote letters to get the charges dropped! 4 of these times happened with SD there. I have all the documentation and have just held onto it. One day she was being particularly difficult so I showed her what we had on her and nicely "reminded" her why it was in her best interest to play nice with us. If we were to go to court with all the documentation of all the crap she has done and the situations she has put SD into she would lose custody in a heartbeat...and she knows it! Keep a hold of all of it and wait till you need it! Collect as much info as you possibly can just in case you need it. I have 3 years worth of sh** on her but have never had to use it cuz shes all talk!