Ss23 as you all may remember, moved out of our house last March. He had grown accustomed to being alone in the apartment we had (we had rented our house for Airbnb but then moved back in a few months later, leaving SS23 in the apartment). Ss23 never helped consistently so we were stuck paying our mortgage, the apartment rent and 2 light bills. 
Ss23 makes 800 dollars weekly. Certainly he could have helped with the bills, especially seeing as he stood alone in the apartment.
 

When the lease was ending last February, I really emphasized fo DH how much I didn't want SS23 to move back in with us if he couldn't help. We're talking 400 dollars monthly at least (the light bill last month came up to 930).  At that point I told DH I wanted him to make him force save so he can move himself out. He was due to give us at least 500 weekly so we can save it for him to move out. 

Within a month of moving back in with us after the apartment lease ended, SS couldn't hack it and wanted to move out. 
He had been cheating on the last girl he was with (the one he tried to move without our knowledge), and this new girl has an apartment in the projects her dad left her with. She's also a stripper, and it seems SS23 is just attracted to that life (snooped recently and saw him posting pics with guns on Instagram). 

So he moves in with her last March and lo and behold comes to us 2 weeks ago to give us the "good news" she is pregnant. He seemed happy. I asked him privately how he felt, he said he was excited. 
 

Well... apparently his lying ways continue. As I was lecturing SS18 yesterday about his marijuana habit, and trying to show him that everything I tell them about themselves comes out to be true, and telling him I just want what's best for us and for him, and telling him I didn't want him to struggle with a habit the way I saw ss23 struggle to save for choosing weed and partying over investing....he says that Ss23 is still struggling. That in fact, he isn't happy and says he can't hack it with the bills. Telling ss18 that he's the one paying the bills in the girl's house which I don't believe (he likes to pretend he does more than what he does, plus this issue of saving money was present since he started working). I thought to myself if Ss23 can't hack it in public housing, where the max rent for them is probably 400, he won't be able to get another apartment. At least in the projects, you don't pay for light. Imagine him having to pay real rent and light. 
 

This reminds me of when he would tell us he loved us so much, while telling other people that we didn't care to feed them. It reminded me of when he wanted me to help with his last gf because he said she was driving him crazy because she didn't believe this current girl was just a friend.

He doesn't know this but I've seen the detailed cell bills and he speaks to his ex gf a lot. He works the overnight shift and being that the new girlfriend is a stripper, she's busy a lot of the nights it seems, so he speaks to the ex quite a bit. Just for kicks,  I asked him if they still talk and he said they barely speak. Meanwhile, cell records show they speak almost every night, for hours at a time. It's only a matter of time before this blows up. 
 

I knew his lying ways would catch up to him. Now he's stuck, probably terrified of being a dad, but not willing to be honest with anyone about how he feels. I probably can't blame him, because his mom did a number on them with that, so he's had to pretend his whole life. He doesn't get that it has to stop at some point though. This is where he has to grow up.