I posted last week that SO is taking on a new schedule this week. He had been working 9-5 M, Th, Fri, and Sunday and Saturdays 6a-2p for 13 years. His issue with that schedule is that he is supposed to have skids EOW but hasn't really stressed that BM have them every weekend since he'd be working anyway. The new opportunity he has is 4p-midnight M, T, and W and overnight Th and Fri. His rationale for testing this out is that he wants to have time on the weekend with skids like "normal" families.
I explained to him that the problem with this new schedule is that while he would have his weekends free, skids will barely see him Monday-Wednesday. And to complicate things even more, since he's not going to be home 4-midnight...if you haven't guessed already, *I* am expected to be with skids those evenings alone. They will see their father in the morning before school but he won't be home to assist with after school homework and just be here with them. I told him that I am not feeling taking on this responsibility and I don't think its fair. To try to support him, I told him I'd try the new schedule.
I'm already not feeling it. It's not that skids are "bad" but just the fact that I don't have alone time. I feel resentful that he has free time all day and goes to work before skids are home and I am left with parenting children that are not mine 3x weekly. Not that I *parent* anyway, but just feeling stuck at home with skids while I'd prefer to be with someone else or alone. The feeling is mutual. SS8 asked if he could go stay at BM's.
In SO's defense, he cooked and cleaned yesterday so that when I came home from work, I wouldn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. He also stated today that he would clean the kitchen so I wouldn't have to worry about it when I came home. I told him that it was the least he could do seeing as none of the dishes in the sink are mine, nor the new mess a result of anything I did. I know he tries to make it easier, but I feel like to make it even easier on me, figure out what you would have done without me in the picture. I help with half the bills, I'm not a messy person and I don't mind helping. I just feel like I'm suddenly a single parent, no in fact, a single stepparent. If they were my own kids, I imagine I wouldn't care as much. I just feel that this is not what I signed up for. Also, BM has stated in the past that if SO is not available, she should be able to stay with skids. When there is another parent who actually wants to be involved, it makes it more annoying that I have to spend my free time with them when me, skids, and BM are on the same page but SO isn't. When I bring this up, he says he is not going to allow her to take custody of skids again and he doesn't trust that she isn't going to be responsible. I feel that none of these things should be my issue, responsibility or concern.
By the way, with his new schedule, he actually sees the skids less than if he had the original schedule. I told him as much but he feels the weekends with the skids are more important.
How should I break it to him that he should find a babysitter or switch back to previous schedule? I thought I knew what I was signing up for, but this new schedule gives me the short end of the stick. I'm wondering if I should wait it out and see if he gets tired of it first, but I'm feeling the inklings of annoyance.