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love dare...if you have done it..or started to

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 12:29pm

i recently bought love dare, and last night was my first night home from my week of schooling for my job and then bachelorette party.

I was curious if this is something you read alone with out fh/dh?

last night fh was doing something and then when he came back in to the room i was reading the first dare so that i could start it today. I proceeded to read the first chapter thing, and then the dare out loud to him.(he actually paused the tv to listen and then talk about what i had read!!) He had mentioned when i brought it home, "oh great, im going to be tested" I told him no, its not like that, and thats why i read it to him...

anyways, so here is my question, fh wants to do this together, read the dare at night, both of us stick to it the next day, and then before we read the new dare that night, go over how things were that day with the dare. how we struggled, how we felt, etc.

as of right now, im all for this! it seems if we are both aware of whats going on and working together its all the better, but was this book meant to be done alone with out the SO knowing?

Comments

BridgingTheGap's picture

Submitted by BridgingTheGap on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 12:51pm

I've been wanting to try out the love dare but I'm a little unclear as to how its supposed to work

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 12:58pm

which is only the first dare (you only read one a day)it seems to be very positive! fh and i have been joking about it, but last night and this morning knowing that we were to practice patience with one another, and bite our tongue with any negative comments, and do our best to be positive...already has us in amazing moods for the day!

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:02pm

maybe we should watch the movie...
those things you listed that the movie has inspired you to do, we pretty much do already, our main problem is that im a worry wart who is constantly negative about what his psychotic mother or ex will do next, i push him to answer my what if questions, but at the end of the day he hates the ex, and with all mil has done he doesnt care that she is not in our life soooo, im just nagging him Sad

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:11pm

I haven't read it, but there are other people on here who have tried it, and I've heard about it a lot. It's true that you're supposed to do it without the other person knowing. But honestly, I think that's because the love dare is supposed to be for people who are really on the outs with each other -- who have really grown apart and have a tough time communicating and not taking the other's words and actions and misinterpreting them, because they don't really trust or feel close to each other anymore. So, the love dare is supposed to help one person take a step back and start treating the other person differently. The point being that the other person, who has grown kind of hostile to their spouse, will eventually -- subconsciously -- start to feel more loved by their mate, and therefore change their attitude and behavior, without really knowing that they're being "nudged" in that direction.

I think it's GREAT that the two of you want to do it together. To me it shows that you're not in that situation, and that you love one another and still feel close enough to one another to want to work on the marriage together. So, I'd say, more power to you! Tell us how it goes!!

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)