to ask or not to ask?
yesterday there was a blog about how do you disengage. I read it and responded, and read the other responses, but i was curious how you might feel in my situation.
my fh does not let my crazy mil or his exw get to him, he will call me and get me all worked up over the latest drama, and then be like oh well they are stupid shi**. it was so hard for me to just drop it after getting upset, that now ive asked him to not tell me unless it effects me. However i still cant help but want to ask every night, was there any drama today?
I think this is beacause of 2 things.
1. she has told me that my fh always is in her business asking her personal questions, so i feel like i have to know all correspondence between them so im never caught off gard. I trust my husband, he would never cheat, especially with her, she disgusts him, plus its like driving a pinto when you have a Ferrari at home. so since i know he would never do anything out of line should i just not care, or are there others of you that feel the need to know everything too?
2. I am the worlds largest worry wart! I take everything 20 steps in to the future, and over analyze it. It drives him nuts! but, i feel like my worrying pushes me to find out everything, when really i dont need to necessarily worry because fh always does what needs to be done!
how do i get over this bad feeling in my stomach, everyday on my way home that as soon as i walk in the door some new drama will have happened?
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Comments
yep and yep
to both #1 and #2..I too had a BM that told me that my FH was in her business..(he denies it)..I too worry and over analyze everything and constantly have "hypothetical situations" in my head.
I would get real anxious and get anxiety in the afternoon before going home because I never had a questions on IF they talked but what about and what was her issue now. I started saying that to FH EVERY night - so what is her issue today..
we finally fought about and thankfully FH put me first and basically told BM to stop talking with him about "stupid" stuff and to "Get a life".
Like you said, I wanted to stop asking, butI didn't want to play the fool either..and be caught off guard.
I made an agreemen with FH that I would stop asking about BM every night and if there was correspondence and I would trust him to tell me if there was and if it was something more than just how their son was.
So far so good, but like I said he also put a VERY THICK line in the sand with BM and for the past few weeks it's been VERY quiet..and he rarely hears from her.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"