It's over!
Last month, I went through my SD15's phone, and found some raunchy pictures she was sending out to FIFTEEN DIFFERENT RANDOM BOYS, WORLDWIDE! SD15 was put on lock-down, lost her phone, has to get up every day at 5 am to go to work with DH, is only allowed to listen to music if she trades in "points", her netflix was changed to restrict her access.. and the list goes on and on.
Every single time the drama dies down, or SD15 gets close to gaining a privilege back, she escalates again. Last week was a fit where she ran from me, kicked me, screamed in my face and chased me down the hall (until DH came around the corner, belt off). A few days after that was a really morbid and disturbing conversation she had with her sister (I don't know where or when!). Yesterday, we had our weekly meeting with SD15's therapist, where SD told a wild story that she changed five times.
Tonight, SD15 was doing her calisthenics, and was complaining about going to work with her dad tomorrow.. and I told her that this is a choice she has made, and if she'd quit trying to up the ante, things might change.
SD turned around, yelled at me, and said "It's over! So, why don't you just let it drop?"
Oh, Darling SD, it is NOT over.. I am still getting messages from random boys, the world over. The last one came at 2:33 this morning!
You are STILL having inappropriate conversations with your little sister. Just because you are no longer talking about sex, but are now talking about abuse, doesn't mean it is OVER!
You effing KICKED ME, just five days ago. You are ESCALATING! It is not over!
Next, SD15 said "Me and SD12 have just changed places. She used to be the bad one, and now she's good. I used to be good, and now I am bad!"
I told SD15, "No, you are both still the same people. You didn't change places! SD12 has always been like this (for the last four years) where she does really really good for a few months, then she can't control herself for a day, a week or even a month! You are still you, and still responsible for your actions, to!"
SD15's therapy has moved up to twice a week now. She has a doctor's appointment (emergency) on Wednesday to discuss changing her meds.
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You know, I'm not sure. It
You know, I'm not sure. It never even occurred to me to call the police. AS SOON AS SD 15 calmed down, she turned around and walked to her bedroom. I sat on the couch, and queue the panic attack!
I have neuropathy below the knees, and with all the adrenaline pumping through my body, I didn't even know that she had kicked me! I found out when she told therapist yesterday.. and therapist said the same thing "CALL THE COPS!"
You just made me cry!
You just made me cry! :O Thank you for understanding!
You and me, both! If you
You and me, both! If you ever see a step mom "Melissa" begging Dr Phil to put their kid in boot camp, check my posts!
What is killing her the most right now, is having to go with her dad (a little physical labor, but hours and hours of just her dad for company - no radio, nothing, in a truck, travelling all over the state), and not having any time to relax, watch tv, hang with her little sister, etc.
Dtzy, I knew you weren't
Dtzy, I knew you weren't being rude.. And you are the giver of great advice.
SD is escalating.. I see it as a desperate bid for attention.. she liked the whole household revolving around her for a few days, when she was caught with those nasty pictures!
Therapist is VERY against sending her to inpatient. But she did say, call the cops if it happens again.
I am so proud of how far SD12
SD15 is a control freak and more! She HAS to be the center of attention. She likes having to do jumping jacks, because Hubby counts them off for her, and for that space of time, she is in the middle of the living room. My house is so small that we can't see around her to watch tv, so ALL EYES ARE ON HER!
I hope that therapy twice a week helps. I hope that they can switch her medications (Prozac, Concerta, and Melatonin) and that will help. If nothing else, though, I am doing the same as you and piling physical labor on her. My house is gonna get SUPER clean SUPER fast!
Yesterday, Therapist and I discussed how I am a collector of lost children (have now collected SDs Oldest Sister as my own!). Funny how you used the same word!
But yes, Sd is a lost child.
She has been talking this week about flash backs of being molested when she was little. (None of us knows for sure if this happened or not, but there are a lot of fishy circumstances, and it's a good chance.) The thing is, she is so extreme in her lies, we don;t know if this is the truth or not! Either way, all we can do is get her therapy,.
Well, we have survived
Well, we have survived everything else that life has thrown at us, so far, so that's a good sign!
Sd12 can be a little b*tch sometimes, but to see the difference in her now then from this time last year, you wouldn't believe it!
I am truly worried, though, that there isn't a whole lot of time for us with SD15. She is 15 years old now, and comes from a long line of prostitutes, teen moms, drug users and abusers.
Thank you! I always need
Thank you! I always need prayers
I swear to God some of you
I swear to God some of you guys make me feel like such a sook for complaining about my stuff!!
You amaze me with your strength and staying power.
Melissa I don't really pray but I am sending you the most positive thoughts and wishes!!!!
((((((HUGS)))))
Thank you for the
Thank you for the compliments! But I don't hold the record on the strongest step mom, I promise!
Each of us has our own problems in step land. Mine just happen to be in the extreme mental area! (So GLAD I am not the step mom dealing with the poopy walls, though!)
Thank you for the positive thoughts and wishes! I need them!
I had to fight for ten years
I had to fight for ten years to get these girls where we are today. When I met SD15, she had already been through physical (and possibly sexual) abuse. (She was made to kneel over a hot heating vent until the flesh of her knees was practically melted - 3rd degree burns.) At that point, I knew that I would do anything to protect the little girl that I gave a bath to, fed, tucked in.
You've heard the phrase "Anything worth having is worth working for" right? That's where I am with SDs. I have WORKED for this, and be damned if I will let it all fall to the wayside now, because what I worked for was damaged.
Thank you for praying for me!
Your friend is funny, btw!
Beaccountable, both of my SDs
Beaccountable, both of my SDs therapists say, if they get physical again, call the cops. Both SDs know this, to. So, I hope that's a deterrent at least!
I really really hope that boot camp doesn't become necessary.
Get the kid involved in
Get the kid involved in community theater. She'll probably love it--all eyes on her and all. Then, you have something she actually likes to take away when she's a shit. She will see she can only do it when she's good. Might help? Just a thought...Kind of a positive attention to get rid of her looking for negative?