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Hubby's gone, but not the SDs

Smellissa's picture

I had to make Hubby leave today. He has just about stopped sleeping and has become abusive of myself and my girls (SDs).

There is so much to tell, but no words to say it. I love him. They love him.

My sister is keeping the girls tonight, so it is a little less of a shock for them. SD12 is scared that she will never see him again, because that is what has happened in her past. SD15 is posting all of this deep stuff on Facebook, but I can't pick her little brain to make sure she is okay. Eh, them being away tonight is a LOT harder on me than it is on them.

"It's better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than having that person break your heart every day you're with them." Oh yeah, my little ducky is hurting and thinking deep thoughts tonight!

How am I going to feed them? Pay the phone bill, and the electric? *Sigh* I am pretty sure my family will help.

It's so weird. He's gone, but they will be home tomorrow.

I don't want him to get a few day's sleep and then come home, right now. I don't know if I ever want him to come home at all. I am going to insist that he let me supervise any contact he has with them for a while. If he plans on anything else, I will call the police, explain the situation and fight with all my might.

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Smellissa's picture

WTF, I made him leave, so I don't think that the battered woman's shelter will help much.

MamaFox's picture

Oh my gosh, honey what happened? If you tell us, we can help you plan! I don't remember if your bmp still has been rights or not?

If she doesn't, I would make a move for emergency order of protection for you and the girls, and have either bio aunt or grandma motion for emergency custody.

Smellissa's picture

MommaFox. BM is not in the picture. She has the right to fight for her rights, still, but she doesn't have contact with the girls, at all. The way that things were, when Hubby and I got custody, we got shared custody of the girls.

I feel like I don't really know what happened! Hubby has been getting mean and meaner for weeks.

Friday, he "Spanked" SD12. However the spanking included tossing her over a table, and she is still sore for it. I got between them, so Hubby turned on SD15. I threw her my shoes, and told her to run for a neighbor.

Hubby stayed between SD12 and the door. I kept searching for my cellphone but couldn't find it. SD12's cellphone was dead. Sad

Finally, my sister called me, and there was a family emergency. I made the bad decision for all of us (I wasn't leaving the girls behind) there, instead.

Hubby didn't get better over the weekend. Yesterday, my cousin was here, and he started yelling and getting shitty. I got scared.

My cousin pulled me outside, and I asked her to wait in the car. I went inside and started putting on my shoes. HUbby asked if I was leaving, and I said "Yeah, just running to the gas station." SD12 started crying, and asked me to please not leave again.

By that time, I had my body between Hubby and the girls. I told them that I was scared, and I needed them to put on their shoes quickly, but to calmly walk to the car. SD12 couldn't find her's, though, so I told her to just go, and I found her shoes.

We went to my mom's, and the girls FINALLY told me that they had had enough. (I know I should of stopped this weeks ago, but i couldn't do anything without their consent. IF they didn't want to go with me, the cops would of made me let them stay with him, as he is the bio parent.) So, I called Hubby and told him that he had to leave.

I made plans with my family, for SDs to stay with my sister. I stayed home alone last night. We're all safe.

SD12 is a mess. SD15 is keeping it bottled up, but she did get pissy at one point and said "I know you will let him come back." The way she said it, I know she doesn't want that!

twoviewpoints's picture

Oh, Mellissa, I'm sorry. It had to be hard but you did the very right thing. Has he just suddenly turned like this? I mean, is there a medical problem that's made from stop being able to sleep and cope? But even so, you did what you had to do. You can't have abuse in your home for you or the girls.

Your family has been so good in helping you when you needed it, I'm sure they will help you now. Food you'll be able to do by reaching out to your local church food pantries, but you don't qualify for food stamps. I think there is a phone program for basic cell phone service that allows low income families to have a phone. I don't know anything about it, but it's something you might qualify for. I forget the custody arrangements that the court set up when they gave you the girls, but does it allow perhaps you to seek child support from you husband?

Smellissa's picture

Twoviewpoints, I don't know why he has stopped sleeping, and neither does he. It doesn't matter WHY, though. All that matters is that the girls are hurting!

I actually qualify for food stamps, and I will be getting them next month, I am sure. Just have to get through this one. I think that Job and Family will have him paying child support, to, but I'm not really sure of that.

Indigo's picture

I am so sorry. I don't know your situation at all, but I 'hear' the pain. Good for you to protect the kids as much as you can. Protection orders are designed to keep you safe. Look at the wife of that NFL Ravens player, she probably never thought she would need one.

Take care of yourself. Don't freak yet about next week or next month or next year. Be safe. Breathe. Protect the children if you can.

Smellissa's picture

Indigo, thank you. I am going to have a hard time getting to the courthouse to get that protection order filed. I am going to call the victim's advocate today, and see what we can do.

The girls are home now, and we are getting through today.. tomorrow will take care of itself, I hope.

Smellissa's picture

Fire_Inside, thank you! Biggrin At least, if nothing else, I have beautiful and strong daughters!

Smellissa's picture

outtahere, when things get bad for me, I sometimes get really silent. I try to hold the pain and anger inside. Hubby is just mean. No other way to say it Sad

Smellissa's picture

Sweet Pea, I believe that it's going to keep getting better. I ask the girls, to make sure that this is what they want. They both want to stay here, so we will help each other!

Smellissa's picture

Miss Kay, I am sure that it is not drug use. He can't afford drugs! Sad

I think it is bi-polar disorder or something chemical in the brain. Sad