Are Mother's Days hard/easy for you???
I feel very conflicted on Mother's Day. I have no bio kids and we have SD 50% of the time. I am blessed with a good relationship with her. I did get a card from DH and later in the day (after we picked her up from BM) I got a card from from SD.
Here's where I am conflicting: I do want to be acknowledged by DH because I do help him a lot with issues with the teenage daughter and smoothing things out. I do help with pickups/drop offs, do all the laundry, etc. I don't want to make DH feel bad, but I always make sure his Father's Day is nice. After all.....DH is not the father of my child, but I do think a little more effort is required. He did ask if I wanted breakfast in bed, and I know this sounds like I'm whining, but if you have to ask with hesitation in your voice then why bother??? He did say later on that we would go out for dinner since our anniversary is also coming up and we can just combine the two things. Yeah....and then what about Father's Day . Should I just say oh we can do dinner out later??
It's not about the money....I would have been happy with a gerber daisy or single rose. It's the thought. I always make sure he gets cards for his mom, grandma, etc but it just kinda hurts when you feel like you really don't matter since you aren't "really" a mom. Would be nice if his mom would ever say something on Mother's Day too. Again....just an acknowledgement. My mom and sister wish me a happy mother's day.
I'm always glad when Mother's Day is over for the year. It's weird at work when people don't know what to say to you or when you go to church and they ask for all the mothers to come forward. I cringe on those days and just simply want to fade into the background because I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel.
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My trick for navigating
My trick for navigating step-parenthood is keep your expectations low. If you go into this world imagining a fairytale - you're going to have a bad time. So it's not hard for me, in that regard. I don't expect anything for Mother's Day. It's really nice when it happens but I'm not the mother of his children so I always think 'why expect anything?'
Mother's Day is hard for me just because I lost my mother 5 years ago. That's what I spend time thinking about on Mother's Day. But I also reflect on all the wonderful women in the world who helped make me the person I am today. And that's a good start.
I am not technically a mother
I am not technically a mother but a person doesn't have to give birth to be a mother figure.
My husband acknowledges me on Mother's Day just for doing what I have done for SD22 (been in her life for 17 years) and honestly, I haven't gone overboard in the mothering department for her.
My niece (11) acknowledges me because she says I am her second mother.
My dad's wife even sent me a card acknowledging me as a mother.
On the other side of it, it's a hard day for me, as I lost my mother when I was a teenager and no matter how much time goes by, it still really sucks.
Mother's day is always great
Mother's day is always great for me because we usually have skids EVERY weekend. This is the one one of the few weekends a year that we don't have them at all. She usually takes them somewhere for the weekend. So for me it is great. I have no bios so a nice weekend with DH is all I could ask for he never mentions the holiday to me but does something nice this Sunday he made me a nice breakfast in bed turned on my netflix and mulched the yard.