My Give A Damn's Busted

This weekend I decided I've had it with FSS's little attitude where he thinks he can do as he pleases when he's here. I stepped up and did something about it. I'm treating him the same as I treat my daughter when she doesn't listen. If I ask for them to stop a behavior that isn't acceptable and they don't stop they get disciplined...I'm buckling down. He's been sitting in time out most of the weekend because I've just had it. He WILL get a clue that he WILL follow the rules over here or he can sit in time out the whole time. Fiancee is so inconsistant I just took over now...I'm not going to let it happen in my house anymore..it's been a year and I know the kid's been through a divorce but it's getting old and I won't have the same crap happen over and over every other weekend. I sometimes feel like I'm being harsh but I had to do the same with my own daughter for her to get a clue. And noone else is teaching FSS he has to follow rules, it may as well be me.

We also found out he spends more than 50% of the time with BM's dad cause she's always out of town and partying...I really don't know what to say, there's nothing we can do. He came to our house with new velcro shoes that were 2 sizes too big...so he's trippin over his own shoes...ugh...this woman has no clue how to be a parent. We got him a pair of tie shoes and I've been trying all weekend to try and show him how to tie his shoes, the kindergarten teachers here would like the kids to know how to tie their own shoes when they start school, so we're sending him home in the tie shoes that FIT. She probably got this hairbrained idea that if she bought them bigger they would last longer or something..she sent him in ratty, too small underwear again...and adult gloves!! She's gotta make sure there's enough for her to drink away this weekend. How anyone can be so neglectful and selfish is beyond me...it's just sickens me...

I told fianee his son has so much potential to be a good kid but she's exposing him to so much negative crap and not teaching him anything. I know he has the potential, I've enjoyed helping him learn how to tie his shoes, but when he only spends four nights a week here out of the month the good things we teach him just don't seem to stick.

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Sounds like

your Give a Damn's working just fine.
You care and that's what FSS needs.....obviously.
I believe SK's SHOULD be treated the same as BIO's when they are in your home.
Divorce is hard on the kids....as well as everyone else but maybe that's where the false sense of entitlement comes from.....
'Poor me, my parents are divorced so you should feel sorry for me'
EXCUSE ME, BUT.....BOO F'N HOO!!!
I don't mean to sound uncaring and unsympathetic but Blended Families wouldn't have near the issues if this type of thing didn't exist.
My own humble opinion, of course.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"

what I meant by my title was...

I didn't really wanna get involved anymore because he runs and tells BM that I'm mean to him, when I'm only alot stricter than she is...and I used to give a damn about that...I don't care anymore..this is my house, not hers.

And you're right Mary, too many people are too soft on these kids and that's why they're all screwed up...and he does know how to play the "pity me" card, I told him awhile ago when everyone went outside and he had to stay in and he cried and I said, "you can cry all you want, it doesn't work on me" And you don't sound uncaring, it's the truth! I don't feel sorry for him in the area of his attitude. He will learn he has to behave over here...and I don't let my pity for him with his BM treating him like crap get in the way of disciplining him. Someone has to teach him the right way to act.

Every time something goes wrong with Precious

I hear, "He's not used to his parents being divorced yet." WTF!?!? My DH and I have been married for two years (together 5-1/2 years), BM kicked out my DH six years ago, she promptly married and divorced the other man, and she's on her bazillionth boyfriend since then and he's not used to it yet? Come on! Give me a flipping break. Nothing but excuses.

haha

isn't that funny? We get that from fiancee's parent's all the time..."go easy on him, he's been through a rough time" Oh come on, there's a time when these kids have to accept things aren't going to back to the way they were. Fiancee tried to bargin with him when I wouldn't let him go outside and I said "nope, there is no bargaining...he needs to face the consequences because he was warned to not goof off at the dinner table. He's old enough to know the choices he makes in simple situations like that" And he went outside without him. I'm not letting him get away with this "guilty dad" BS anymore...

Good for you 6

He needs someone to cut thru the bull and teach him, there are no excuses . . . you still need to tie your shoes, act right, etc.! and it is not too soon for that either

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

this morning..

he peed all over the bathroom floor and didn't tell anyone...I go into take a shower and there is pee all over the floor! Now I'm used to having kids missing the toilet but good god, he emptied his whole bladder on the floor, and I made him mop the whole bathroom floor. And since I had to wash my bathroom rug he did extra chores to pay for it to get washed. Where in the hell did that come from? I told him the next time he doesn't use the toilet he'll wear a diaper the whole day...ugh...

Ok I don't know what to make of that

Was he asleep or something? but it sounds like you handled it right

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

nope

he had been awake for awhile...I really don't know, I think he needs to be in therapy but BM won't keep the appointments and his case was closed because of no shows

You are absolutely right !!

Someone does have to treat them the right way to act.
We've had many an issue with BM because of SK's running home and telling lies to BM and she feeds into it by over-reacting and making mountains out of molehills. We get the continuing "how dare you punish my children"......well......somebody's got to before they're completely out of hand.
Besides, to hear the SK's talk, BM punishes but she's very inconsistent and very extreme with her punishments!! At the moment, the SS that lives with us is home with us instead of visiting with BM and his siblings because she can't "handle him" because he has an "attitude". Duh, he's an 11 year old boy!!! Get used to it or do something about it!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"

Too much "guilty Dad (or Mom)

I don't have a heart of stone and I understand the "guilty" syndrome but with the high rate of divorce these days, what would these "entitled" kids be like if there were no voice of reason nudging these guilt ridden parents down the right path????
SCARY !!!!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"