You have notified her that you are not available that weekend, this should be good enough. However, with these BM's it is not. I would suggest a day before you go away for your wkend, you send her an email indicating on the date & time you notified her by phone already, that this is just a follow up email so she is aware that you are not going to be home.....then I would leave town early if possible so she can't pull a fast one on you and drop off the child(ren) early just to screw up your plans. If she emails back to you that night, don't respond. If she calls, don't answer....avoid her until you get your wkend away!! It is her responsibility to figure this one out, just don't let her get you down and ruin it for you.

I am the custodial parent and when my ex cancels on a moments notice, I have to deal with it and change my plans. This happens very regularly, so now we have a court order that he has to give me 3 days notice for changes to time and/or day of pick up or drop off.

Is there anything in your order that states what happens if one or the other has to cancel? If not, have a nice trip. If anything, leave as early as possible or from work so it will be less likely you will run into BM. I know that sounds a like sneaky, but if you leave the house at 5 and BM is supposed to drop child off at 5:30, who is to say she won't come early. Get the heck out of dodge and have a great time. Next time plan for a time when its not BF's time so BM won't complain.

Bottom line - she has and wanted custody so its her job. If your DH was ill (and you weren't around) and canceled would she still expect him to find care for their child?

but that took some negotiating and an actual mediation order. before then, we'd work all week and then instead of taking it easy... well, I really feel for you.

We settled on alternating 2 weeknights with a weekend and it's so much better. The weeknights are good because FH helps FSS with some homework instead of having to fight about it over the weekend. If I were you, I'd consider renegotiating, even if it means going to court.

Smurfy is right. I'm the CP as is my DH and if either bio parent chooses to refuse visitation, we're stuck with them. As the others have suggested, I'd leave earlier for your weekend vacation. If not, I'd have a back up plan for the boy. Does your BF have parents close by that could take him for the weekend just in case?

All I'm asking for is some good old honesty served up fresh when I ask for it without the side order of hot tongue and cold shoulder!

With our BM, she gets to choose how long we have SS on the holidays, she gets to crack up when she thinks she isn't getting enough child support. She gets to say no you can't have him this weekend we have plans. She gets to tell Dh what time SHE wants SS home. She gets to do all these things with zero notice.

We have old court orders but DH spent more time in court than with his son, so he doesn't bother anymore. We usually have SS EOW now. If we need to do something we used to plan around her and her weekend only for her to change it if she got wind we had something on. Not anymore.

We are respectful enough to give her notice if we can't have SS, she is respectful enough to tell DH he is a shitty dad and then in the next breathe change our weekend when she chooses. We don't care anymore. DH talks to SS on the phone 2 times a week regardless and we see him usually 2 weekends a months, it's not worth the struggle.

My point is, if they can pull this crap why can't we?? When you take their power over you and what you do away, they have nothing left to fight with. Have a good weekend!!

Catch xx
*The Real Catch 22*