Entitled pocessive Skids and pre marrige concerns
FDH and I are planning a wedding. the Skids have me concerned that I should think about a pre-nup or just drafting a will after the wedding to insure that family heirlooms stay in the bloodline and that my future children are taken care of?
sKids are almost 5 and almost 7 but are showing signs of being very greedy, possessive and entitled like their mother!
Just yesterday SS6 told the neighbor by that HE has 2 cats and why they are his cats. I brought them into the house! but I would have accepted that WE have 2 cats. Then later that night he noticed the Katana (Japaneses sword) that I have hidden on the top shelf in our closest. He knew roughly what it was because my brother showed him his when we went there for a visit. He asked me
SS: "Do I get that when I get older?"
Me: "No"
SS: "When I am older are you going to give that to me?"
Me: "No"
SS: "SO when are you going to give it to me?"
Me: "When I die."
I was also wondering how those of you with SKids and Children together were handling what happens when you guys pass away. How are your assets going to be split among the kids?
FDH and I are planning to have a kid(s). I want to be fair but let's face it the SKids more or less have 2 sets of parents were my kid(s) will just have the one set. Is it really fair to just give each kid an even part regardless of who their mother is (me or BM)?
I know I am probably thinking way too much about this and yes I thought about it before I said 'yes' but now it's getting to the point weird I have to do something about it and make a choice.
FDH seems to agree that it doesn't seem super fair to OUR kid(s) when it comes to inheritance but he thinks I should be fair and treat the kids all equally when they are here - I told him I would try but when it comes down to it I am not going to take away from my child just because their mother is retarded. 
Your 2 cents please.
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Comments
Its always best to plan this
Its always best to plan this ahead. You are not thinking too much about this. As far as I'm concerned, his children are his. They aren't mine. They get whatever their mother and father give them. If I had a kid (not SO's), I'd expect the same from him.
You are only responsible for your child.
Good for you for thinking about all of this.
I don't think that you would
I don't think that you would owe his kids anything when you die, they have a mother and a father to provide for them. I would just worry about MY kids being taken care of when I died. Treating them equally when they are all at your house is fine, but that don't mean they should get your family heirlooms.
Here's our plan: When both DH
Here's our plan:
When both DH and I pass away we split the estate 50/50 between the two of us. Then, his 50% gets split evenly between his two kids, SS and DD. My 50% just goes to DD. So basically, DD gets 75%, SS gets 25%.
Seems fair because SS is also going to get his share of BM's estate.
This! This is exactly how I
This! This is exactly how I want our assets to be split! I am willing to skew the % slightly (like 60/40 right now or 35/35/30 if we have another child) because dh earns more than I do and contributes more to our estate than I do. I have assets (bank accounts, property) that were mine before we married. THose will get split between our children. SD will not get a % of those assets.
The sk's are almost 5 and 7
The sk's are almost 5 and 7 and are asking about their inheritance? Give me a break! Kids this age shouldn't even know what an inheritance is! My reply to your greedy sk's would be,"I'm saving it as a surprise! Kinda like Christmas, ya know?" And leave it at that.
I'm with you. I may have
I'm with you. I may have said, "I'm saving it to chop your greedy little head off if you try to calls dibs on my stuff ever again.". But, I'm an evil smart ass.
I like this plan and it makes
I like this plan and it makes sense to me. Currently there are no shared children so my personal affects would go to family but the joint income would go to the sKids.
And it's not to much that the sKids were asking about inheritance per say they were just after my stuff again as usual. When I first moved in SS6 though 90% of my things should go in his room because it was 'cool'.
Most of it is the age and the fact the BM gives them everything. But it just got me thinking about the future - I don't plan to live forever and BM has already started teaching SS6 that if you need money just sell stuff you don't need. I could see my diamond necklace (for example) ending up at the pawn shop after I am gone instead of around the neck of a loved one.
If I die,dh gets it all. If
If I die,dh gets it all. If he dies, I get it all. Whoever is left gets to decide how the assets are split. We have his, mine,and ours. However "mine" are like his as well as he has been with them since 9 months and 2. Their father is deceased. So ss will likely get the short end of the stick here. I have no doubt that my dh would distribute financial assets equally among the children, with personal possessions more likely going to MINE as ss truthfully doesnt like me much (not that he likes anyone much). If I'm the one that's left, I can't promise to be that fair }:)
Talk to a lawyer, get a will
Talk to a lawyer, get a will hammered out. I did and it gets DETAILED.
If I die before DH, obviously DH keeps BD. MY assets go to my father/mother/cousin to be held in trust for BD and dispensed to DH as determined necessary for BD.
DH dies first, kids get split, life insurance pays out to BD/skids equally, I keep all our "stuff", etc.
After that it gets a little more tricky.
If BM dies, then DH dies, FIL/MIL or I keep skids. Depends on several factors so we get to decide between the 3 of us. BM's parents don't want skids, so no problem there.
DH and I both die, BD goes to my dad, skids go elsewhere depending on who's still alive. Assets are still divided as above.
And it's all spelled out in complicated law-speak.
But it's nice to have it hammered out so we don't have to worry about it.