Applying issues from one house to another?
Do your skids say/do things that don't make sense to you but you are sure the heard/experienced it some where? Like BM's maybe? But you hate to ask where they got it.
Today ss8 was eating lunch and told me that since I don't have to watch him next week (EOW custody) I could spend the week at out camper by the lake. I wasn't really thinking about it but I said that I couldn't DH had to work. Ss8 when on to tell me that DH could take care of himself and asked if I needed a break from cooking for DH. I just laughed and said no. I like taking care of DH and wanted to be with him, that is what you do when you love some one. Ss8 just said 'oh'.
Then last night there was a commercial for a new movie and ss8 asked if we were going to it, I said no. It was an adult movie that I didn't think would interest a kid and we really had no plans to see it. Ss8 got very said and explained the DH like the first movie (it was a sequel) and might be sad if we didn't go. I told him that DH wasn't like that and wouldn't be sad over missing a movie. We would just catch it on TV sometimes. At dinner ss8 brought it up again to DH who basically said the same thing.
It not that I care but I have to wonder where he gets this stuff, I assume BM but does she really flip out/ comment about studio stuff like that in front of ss8? And is he thinking that if BM and her hubby have these issues then so do we?
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oooh, Ss5 does this too. The
oooh, Ss5 does this too. The other day we were passing by my work and Ss says "msg1986, looks it's your work!" and I said, "yep, it sure is." to which Ss replies, "yeah, you won't work there though when you get fired." I was kind of put off and said "hmm what do you mean Ss?" and he looked like he got nervous and says "oh nothing, just when you get fired, you can't work there anymore". It was all very weird. He's a smart kid but why would he say that?
Maybe in BM's world he is
Maybe in BM's world he is used to her getting fired from jobs, or she talks about being fired, etc.
That is very very possible
That is very very possible but Ss has said other things in the past that I believe are from Bm. For instance Ss has stated to me on a few occasions how he doesn't like "spanish" people. Recently he's been on a kick telling me that my baby is going to be "spanish."
I'm Mexican american and Dh is of mexican american and chinese decent. Bm is white and Dh said when they dated her and her whole family were very racist and often told him "you don't understand because you're mexican". When Dh and I stated dating Ss showed up for his visit once also saying that he knows black people are the N-word-dh called bm right away and went off on her, surprisingly she admitted that her and her then boyfriend frequently used the N-word around Ss but that they'd stop-I think she was embarassed because I was new and she's very concerned with what everyone thinks of her. So although it's possbile Bm talks about being fired, Ss often says things that don't quite add up for his age.
Oh yeah. DH and I 'play
Oh yeah. DH and I 'play fight' some times and ss8 gets really quiet or worried. We have to explain that we are just joking. But he doesn't laugh. DH and BM were married for 7 years and he says she is VERY high maintenance and materialistic. Sunday when ss8 got here he was goin on and on about a camper that they were buying and how it was bigger and better than ours. He was excited about it but very braggy which I am guessing he got from BM. He said they were spending 6k on it. Which to him is a lot of money. I laughed and said it must not be new then because ours was 14k. Silence... :). I hope he tells her that.
She makes everything a competition. I haven't seen BM and her hubby fight but most of the time when they are together they don't look happy. And ss8 was 5 when they split do he still remembers DH and BM fighting at the end of their relationship.
Our BM was trying very hard
Our BM was trying very hard to 'buy' their love but it's funny/sad because last year she ran out of money/credit and ss8 can't understand why she won't buy him the latest greatest whatever. While we can afford it but chose not to :). On his bday this year she asked up to 'go in with her' on a 3ds. DH said no but BM had already promised him one, yeah he is still waiting now she says it will be Christmas. We'll see.
Sure does make you
Sure does make you wonder.
SS8 is constantly telling DH he can move in with BM when I leave.
And he never misses an opportunity to 'remind' DH of this. I was teasing DH the other day that if he kept up with XYZ that I might have to divorce him (in the joking sense) and SS8 cheered and said Then you can move in with Mami!!
Considering SS doesn't even remember his parents in the same house (He asked SD13 last week if he was born when they divorced) its likely coming from BM to some degree - however, since DH never addresses it directly, he encourages it by saying nothing basically. SS8 is one confused child and Dh doesn't help one bit.
That maybe some wishful
That maybe some wishful thinking on his part. Our ss8 has made comments about doing things as a group which BM active supports and may even suggest since she has ask DH and even emailed me once on the matter. We carefully explain that it's not going to happen. Not in like details or a nothing but since he remembers the fights we just say they don't get along. When I went away the week before our wedding ss8 told DH that he could stay with them at BM's house, we both snapped 'no' and left it at that.
Agree. SS8 is extremely
Agree. SS8 is extremely immature for his age. I have been in his life since he was 2.5. As I said, he doesn't even remember his parents in the same house since he was asking SD13 if he was born and then when she said yes, he asked if she was born.... she is older than him... duh.
Thing is, Dh either says nothing or says 'maybe' to things he doesn't want to talk about. Dh is incapable of saying NO to anything skids ask so his 'no' is the word Maybe so he isn't a badguy.
Awhile back, SS8 said something like, Mami should come and swim with us (in our backyard pool) and Dh said, maybe...
Oh hell to the no DH - WTF do you mean Maybe... way to keep it alive for the kid and add to his confusion. How about, No SS, Mami has her own house. Maybe???