What happened?
I know my SD pretty well, I have treated her as my own and have been a primary caregiver to her for a while now. I know that as a parent my DH and I set the boudries and it's our responsibility to guide her and teach her. She used to confide in me and talk to me. We used to be able to have fun without her fighting with me over every little detail. She doesn't talk to me or DH. She's constantly angry she sees a therapist 4 days a week and takes Aderall.for her ADHD. I try to help her and she pushes me away. I have been backing off more and more now. But it doesn't seem to help our relationship. We attend family counceling and we have been for a month or two.
I don't know what to do. I understand kids grow up I am just worried that what relationship we had/ have is gonna go away or turn into something negative.
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How old is she? I stopped
How old is she? I stopped confiding in my mother and basically treated her badly from around age 14 to age 18. My sisters did not do that and continued to behave like kind, normal human beings during their teens, but most of my friends were horrible to their parents. And these were bio mothers, not step mothers. Many teens are miserable creatures. If you're dealing with a teen or near-teen, it may just be the age. FWIW, I have a good relationship with my mother now and appreciate her and her advice a heck of a lot more than I did during my teen years when I knew everything and she knew nothing. It sounds like you may have more going on, but don't underestimate the teen thing and its ability to cause all kinds of trouble.
If she is a teen, this may
If she is a teen, this may just be normal hormonal behavior. My DS14 is going through this. He is very short with me, gets upset easily and sometimes says things that are hurtful. He was never like this before puberty. Several of my friends with kids the same age are going through the same thing. My DS is still a good kid, for the most part, but he has a chip on his shoulder some days. Its a tough age so I just try to be understanding and remember that it will pass.
This sounds
pretty normal for a teen. All of the teenagers treated us like crap (bio, step, etc) for a few years lol. And we had the added bonus of a houseful of drama ridden teen girls who were all teens together. DS was actually the easiest and even he was a PITA. In the end, we have one teen left at home, a relatively easy teen and we give her space, and the older ones all have a close relationship with us and with each other.
Basically teenage girls suck. We should be allowed to house them in group homes until they become normal human beings again.
Shes 7
Shes nowhere near her teens. She's 7.
Why is she in therapy? is it
Why is she in therapy? is it this new general level of anger? Are there issues with her Bio mom?
It could be a phase in where she is resenting you because she is angry that her "real mom" is absent. It could be she has been impacted by some other trauma... She could have a mental illness.
Have there been any changes in her/your lives recently? Any change in seeing her mom? Any changes at mom's house?
Therapy four days a week ?
And no real progress? You either need a new therapist, or you should do testing for mental illness.
What is she like in school?
What is she like in school? Does she have any friends. Is she invited to other peers birthday parties?
What does her teacher say ?
What medication is she on?
What is she like at moms?
Is sd behavior "A"your house thing--and MOM reports 'she is fine with me"? Or is sd this way with all persons she is around.
Sorry cant help, not info info. Can you answer the above questions?