10 yr old still sleeps with mommy why?
We're having a problem that we don't know how to solve. When my step daughter is at her moms, she is sleeping with her mom every night. She is 10 years old and has never been afraid of the dark or sleeping in her room. Now, when she is with us, she is having problems falling asleep and if the house is quiet she will wake up her dad and he has to try to get her to fall asleep. This is starting to happen every night. she has also teared up when she thinks she has to lay in her bed alone. Her dad has talked to her mom and asked her to have her sleep in her own bed at her house, but of course, that was met with the typical, "I don't think that is a problem." If anyone has any ideas on how to approach this I need help.
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SD here tried that, too. We
SD here tried that, too. We refused to buy into the tears and the fears. We knew they were nothing more than trying to duplicate her mother's house. The more your dh pays attention to her for her "fear", the longer it will take to break her of it. He can't control Bm. He can control what he does. He needs to say "You're 10 years old. You've never had this problem before. I am very sorry that your mother is treating you like a baby, but in this house children sleep in their own rooms. Good night." and then ignore anything after that.
help with advice
help with advice
If she is scared of the dark,
If she is scared of the dark, prehaps she needs to go to bed early, while it is still light, to ensure she can get fast asleep without having to worry about the dark?
Most 10yo would shudder at the idea of going to bed at 730 to make sure the dark doesnt sneak up and scare them.
I am agreeing with the above poster though, dad needs to tell her to cut the shyte it isnt working. It did work at BM's which is why she is sleeping with BM, it is on its way to working at dads, because now dad has to spend time getting her to bed/ back to bed.
Im thinking one time of dad blowing his lid of "DONT wake me up because your wanting attention" would likely fix your problem.
I love this idea! My own DDs
I love this idea! My own DDs never pulled that crap, but SD10 has recently started in with the "I'm scared of the dark". Her sister (SD12) says their BM allows SD10 to sleep with lights on or go into BMs bed. We've gotten to the point of allowing 2 nightlights, but she wants a lamp on too.
I think this might be the perfect solution.... }:)
what does skids mean? should
what does skids mean? should i ask sd if she is affraid of dark of just missing her mom
skid= step kid. No, don't
skid= step kid.
No, don't ask. Then your just giving her an excuse to play the pity me card.
"That behavior is not acceptable here. Go to your room and go to bed. Goodnight"
End.
My ex did this with my kids
My ex did this with my kids on his EOW up until I told him that it was highly inappropriate and I was calling CPS if they did not have their own beds (yep- he wouldn't even get them beds) and that they were sleeping separate on the next visit. It worked for me. I have no idea if CPS would do anything or not but my kids had bunk beds and a bedroom on the next visit.
SD went thru this too. She
SD went thru this too. She actually broke out in hives because she was so worried about her mom and something bad happening to her.
Ss and SD slept with bm. On and off until SD was 17 depending on the house they lived in (on bedroom or two).
Put a night light in her room, allow her to read, or have the radio on, if she wakes up (the radio might help with it being too quiet)
Same at our house. SD slept
Same at our house. SD slept with mommy until only recently (SD is 15-yo). She wanted to sleep with daddy when at daddy's house....until I came into the picture. I put a stop to that right away, telling DH that SD was almost 12-yo and as manipulative & evil as BM is, it was likely that she would report him for child molestation and then where would he be.
He immediately told SD that she had to start sleeping in her own bed starting right then. She whined, pitched a fit, etc. But he stood his ground.
Of course, the damage to SD is done. She is unable to sleep alone. So, she has to have a friend over to sleep with, or be at a friend's house all the time. It's ridiculous.