SD15 got invited to a sleepover birthday party at a hotel room this Saturday. DH & I told SD15 no. Well SD15 wasn't happy with that and told BM about it, who is 1100 miles away and has no say in these type of decisions anymore since we have custody of SD15. Well BM called DH last night and started trying to convince DH into changing his mind about letting SD15 go. DH told BM it would be different if this girl's parents were not alcoholics & would be there the entire time. But since we can't guarantee that would happen, our answer is no. Because when we let SD15 stay the night at their home, they left SD15 & her friend alone to babysit while they went out and got drunk. BM says well then just let SD15 go for a few hours. DH said SD15 won't go for that, but we'll consider it. And we can't guarantee that SD15 won't have her boyfriend meet her at the hotel. When DH got off the phone and told me what BM had suggested, I was furious. I told him that if we change our decision, that will make SD15 think that anytime we tell her no all she has to do is tell BM and then we'll change our decision. DH said that I am being to hard on SD15. But she can't even follow simple house rules. Like the first time her boyfriend(bf) was over, we told her they were not allowed in her bedroom...what did she do but take him into her room. The next bf was over, we told her he had to be gone by 10pm...it was more like 11 or 11:30pm when he finally left. I also stated to DH that if DH & BM are going to make these decisions for our home, then he needs to be back with BM & not me. I know that I was out of line with that statement, but that's how I feel. Well since about 7pm last night DH hasn't said anything to me. DH did call about an hour ago and he acted as though nothing was wrong. I am at a loss on what to do or say. What would you do in this situation?