Previous step wants to connect...wwyd
Dh was with someone for some time years ago... she had 3 daughters. Her and dh grew up together, were friends when they were kids.
Anyway, dh doesn't have FB. One of his ex's daughters reached out to me on FB by sending me a friend request.
I've just ignored it so far.
Dh didn't raise them, was in their life about 5 years or so as mom's bf... he hasn't seen/heard of them in 10+ years.
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well I would not... sorry but
well I would not... sorry but I do not know them, they don't know me..... why should I connect on FB?
Sometimes people like having thousands of friends on FB, snooping around in profiles, it's a popularity thing.... That is not why I have FB, I have FB for my use and my pleasure and I connect only to real friends.... Some of SO's family members and mine are upset cause I ignore their friend requests... but hell they never phone, text or anything,have not seen them in years, why do they want to be FB friends?
It would depend on how DH
It would depend on how DH felt about them.
My mother had several boyfriends while I was growing up, several of whom I would love to connect with because they were important to me, even if they didn't raise me. One of Mother's BFs lived with us from the time I was a Freshman in high school until I was a sophomore (?) in college. He taught me to drive, comforted me when boys broke my heart, and he did his best to protect me from my mother's crazy. I adored him, but I lost track of him when Mother dumped him unceremoniously.
Another of her boyfriends is now dead, but I'd love to connect (like say hi) with his sons, who were around from the time I was 10ish until 12ish. They were nice and we had fun, but they certainly weren't there all the time and their dad didn't raise any of us.
There were other people, too, that were just friends of Mother's with whom I would love to re-connect. She's a terrible narcissist, so she discards people like paper plates, so there are plenty out there, but I live 3000 miles away now, and it's been 25 years since I've been home, so I don't.
nen - but are you contacting
nen - but are you contacting these people's spouses?
My point of view - you want to find out how BF great is doing, if you stumble upon his profile in FB, by all means send him a message asking him, nothing wrong with it, but it's a bit weird if you message his current wife to re connect with him
Personally, I'm not
Personally, I'm not contacting anyone, but I'd like to think that if I found mother's ex-boyfriend's wife (I have heard that he's married and happy!) that she would be OK with it.
Then again, my normal meter isn't 100% accurate because of growing up with my mother. For example, we're close friends with BM's DH's XW (aka mom of my stepkids' stepsister), a connection that was made *after* they married. She feels like our family--and she's one of the few people who understand how screwed up BM and her DH are.
Frankly, that's why I would want to connect with some of Mother's Xs/X friends. They, too, saw the crazy and it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who saw it.
It could be a simple as they
It could be a simple as they want to reconnect. However contacting him would be far more appropriate than his wife who they have never met. Personally I would leave it, tell DH about this, and take it from there.
The ex's daughter, who you
The ex's daughter, who you don't know would make me nervous. I don't like feeling spied on, my goal in life isn't to make anyone jealous, so particularly on social media, that I use to stay in contact with friends now that I live so far, I don't like feeling watched.
I'd feel watched, same reason I'm not super thrilled about DH's family being friends with her on social media, and why I told DH if I start feeling watched again I'll unfriend them without a second thought on there. There was a period the ex was liking EVERYTHING I got tagged in by his family, it made me uncomfortable, she got blocked of course. DH tried to tell me "well it's just because she's jealous." I basically flat out told him I wasn't out to make people jealous, I used Facebook to keep in contact with my friends across the country, and didn't need to feel watched. Her best friend had already shown up at my work unexpectedly, so I didn't need to give the crazy b**** any more windows into my life.
Anyways, maybe I'm paranoid, but if DH's ex's daughter was trying to friend me, when I don't even know her. 1) I don't accept requests from people I don't know. and 2) I'd wonder if she was doing some creeping for her mom...
Did you tell your husband
Did you tell your husband about the message? What did d he say he wants to do?
Here's a bit more background.
Here's a bit more background. ... they didn't have a Fallin out or anything, they just weren't meant to be together. Better ad friends.
Dh doesn't have FB. She probably searched when she saw my profile...
I did tell him about it, he said it was up to me to do what I wanted... so I sent her a msg asking if I knew her... she said no, but that she knew dh...just wanted to say hi, hadn't seen him in years... I replied to her saying oh yeah, she must be one of his ex's daughters... she said yes that's right, she's the oldest of 3... said our wedding pics were adorable, dh looked happy... and wished us the best.
I thanked her...and left it at that.
I figure that if she really wanted to get in contact with dh, she'd be able to... some of DH's friends are on my fb... and they know each other...so... I'm kinda thinking she's aware of boundaries and wanted to reach out to me instead of getting his number from someone dh knows
I told dh about it...he's like... "that's nice"... so it seems he couldn't care less.
Mkay then! Lol
It's weird. It's sad no have
It's weird. It's sad no have no contact with someone you knew just because a relationship ended, but why reach out to you? Even if your DH doesn't have a facebook, it's still weird to request his spouse if she never knew you.
I wonder if it's her mom using her FB to save face while she actually wants to snoop in on your life and find out more about who he's with.
What are the kids ages
What are the kids ages now?
Did your dh have a child support order? OR still does?
They aren’t his kids
They aren’t his kids
I would ignore it. I don't
I would ignore it. I don't know this person and it's my page, not my DH's. Also, I would assume that if my DH wanted to be in touch, he would already be in touch.
I'm a skeptic, but I think people use FB for one of two things: 1) to present the life they want (not the one they lead) to the world; 2) to spy on other people.
I occasionally keep in touch
I occasionally keep in touch with my exSO’s kids, particularly one. We’ve been together for almost 9 years and lived as a family. My DH is aware that I keep in touch with them. My DD has exSM with whom she keeps in touch. I believe it’s perfectly fine. I think it’s healthy to be on good terms with people.
Saying that if my exSDs contacted my DH on FB, it would be completely stupid and rude and inappropriate. I have no FB but I keep in touch with people via other channels. People have my phone number and emails. They dont need to go through DH
It’s obvious if these people don’t have your DH’s contacts it’s because he isn’t part of their life. Contacting his wife via FB is crazy making imho