I am actually living this. In the past year BM went from sharing joint legal and physical 5050 with my husband to not even having visitation. As of now my husband has full physical. BM, DH and myself share joint legal and BM has no visitation. We still let SD go over every other weekend though to see that side of her family. BM does not contact us or SD ever, at any point during the weeks. BM's mother will contact us the day before the "every other weekend" that she goes over there. I think BM just kind of gave up once she lost custody.

I'm the other one with a BM who speaks in tongues. She is uber religious and I'm just waiting for the day that she decides that DH is her one true husband in a biblical sense.

I'm going to be ready with the scripture about how once an ex wife has gone and "lain with another" she must not ever be taken back.

Sadly, my SDs bm left the picture once we got custody. I think it had to do with her receiving no cs. She missed that cs-she got her nails done with it, hair dyed with it, designer clothes, but her kids were neglected and sexually abused while she was living it up with cs money.

Skids BM was a nightmare when DH first got custody - stalking and harassing him, constant calling, texting, PAS'ing the skids. He lived 70 miles away from me and wanted to move to my town, and she dragged him through court to try and stop him from moving on the grounds that she didn't have a job and couldn't afford travelling expenses to see her kids (never occurred to her to get off her fat ass and get a job instead of living off welfare). He got permission to move with her getting a monthly weekend and half of school holidays plus phone contact, and she continued her phone harassment and PAS, made it as difficult as possible to arrange contact visits and demanded money to feed the kids when they were with her. Once when they were with her for holiday contact she rang dh and threatened to take the kids to the social work department as she claimed to have no money to feed them. He called her bluff and refused to send money and nothing else came of it, so she was obviously trying to stir up trouble and hoping to get some cash out of us. He's had custody for 6 years now and because he doesn't entertain her crap and give in to her, she's calmed down a lot. She still has an occasional tantrum, usually over holiday dates if she thinks dh and I have some couple time planned, but once dh sticks to his guns she backs down. It's all about control. She hates not having day to day control over the skids as she is a total control freak and has never got over the fact that dh got custody. She's extremely jealous of the fact the skids live with us and not her, is obsessed with money and has this misconception that we have a wonderful lifestyle, when in reality we work hard, budget carefully and use what little we have left over for luxuries like short breaks, days out etc.

The only way to deal with these bm's is to not buy into their bullshit. DH's need to stick to their guns and not let their ex's order them around. Don't feed into their attention seeking and communicate by text/email only, making messages as brief as possible and ONLY discussing skids. Keep skids out of any arguments with bm. She will probably try to drag them into things and give them bullshit stories, but not stooping to her level will help skids realise when they get older just what a liar bm really is. I think my skids are beginning to see that now. SS11 has always been bm's little pet, but lately he doesn't seem as bothered and we think he's started to see the light. These shitty bm's are all about control - take that away from them and they have nothing left.

Well...........

BM lost the kids due to neglect and abuse. After all the court and other bs, she had 1 year to get them back. She refused to get her own free apartment/house b/c she was so sick she needed to live with an adult (she has the mentality of a 10yo anyway), her job that the Judge ordered to support her kids was selling Avon and she just didn't understand why the judge wouldn't give them back.,

So BM resorted to PASing the crap out of first OSS, once he moved back with her, he ended up in jail for the past 2 years. Then on to the mentally fragile YSS, he went back to live with her and is currently in the court system...really hoping they get him into a structured home for kids like him.

Now BM hasn't been able to crack SD yet b/c wants thing in life...for now. I'm sure SD will be smoking, drinking and snorting pills with Momma one of these days and then she will be knocked up or in jail too.