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WWIII over a headband. I give up...

round2's picture

Submitted by round2 on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 9:53am

We had a great weekend and then today happened...

On Saturday we had a big housewarming/birthday party at our house. FDH and I rented a margarita machine, had the food catered, etc so we could really enjoy the party and pay attention to our guests without having to worry about the details. There were probably 40 people at the house. All the kids swam and got along great with very few scuffles.

Sunday was relaxing and fun as well. Again, mostly good behavior for all the kids, just normal kid stuff.

DD8 and SD8 had to get up today for their camps and thats when it all went to hell. DD8 asked SD8 if she could borrow a headband and SD8 said no. FDH was there when this happened and said - "ok, but dont ask to borrow anything of hers if you aren't going to share your stuff". He goes down stairs and SD8 follows soon after. He asks her if she loaned the stupid headband and she says yes. DD8 comes downstairs and he asks where the headband is and she wasn't given one by SD8.

Yes, WWIII broke out at my house over a stupid fucking headband. FDH yells at SD about lying to him, SD gets pissed and throws something at DD's face and hits her hard. I miss all this because I am getting dressed and all I hear is screaming, wailing and more BS than is necessary. My daughter is crying, FDH is yelling and SD is lying AGAIN and saying it was an accident. Lying little brat, how do you accidentally chunk something at another person's face?

I calm everyone down and we all retreat to neutral corners. I get the girls off to camp and as SD8 is getting out of the car I get out with her and say - "if you ever hit my kid again, I personally will beat your ass. are we clear?"

I have had enough of her hitting my kid and my DD's friends. This kid is a sociopath in the making.

Comments

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 10:07am

I am sooooo glad that you put SD in her fucking place....I would MOST DEFINITELY tell ANY KID especially a kid that lives with your own child that if they ever did that again they would get tuned up!!!

Good for you...you did great!!! Wink

round2's picture

Submitted by round2 on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 10:33am

FDH did great until he realized she had lied to his face. Then he freaking lost it - so yes, he is holding her accountable but his message is getting somewhat lost because he is screaming at her. I know I should be glad that he's disciplining her but the flip side is he ends up apologizing for his behavior and what she was originally in trouble for becomes secondary to his poor conduct.

I am going to stop intervening when he acts stupid like this - what do I care what he does to her. He never yells at my kids, he doesn't have to.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 10:55am

Is make the suggestion that sharing can only come through a parent.

So in the future DD wants to borrow something of SD she must come to an adult the adult facilitates the discussion.

While I am not justifying hitting, my counselor has pointed out that children do not think like an adult, until well into their 20s. My guess is that SD was mad at DD because DD got her into trouble. She doesn't see it was her actions.

As for lying, I was told to remove the opportunity. For instance instead of asking did you loan her a headvand. Dh rephrases it as to which headband did DD need.....etc.

My mistake was asking did you do this?

round2's picture

Submitted by round2 on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:06am

If we always intervene then how do kids learn life lessons? Kids, especially at the age of 8, should be able to negotiate sharing toys, etc. This was not a request to borrow a favorite dress or beloved toy. It was a headband.

My SD is the same kid who had a meltdown over sharing twizzlers....

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 11:55am

This has happened at our home as well. SD8 TOOK a purple flowered hair clip from BD5, and SO just let her have it because he does not pay attention to what belongs to each child and assumed since the little princess put it in her hair than it MUST belong to her. I was upstairs getting dressed, and heard crying. I come down just in time to see SD8 walking out the door with the clip in her hair and SO is already in his car waiting for her, and my kid is standing in the kitchen balling b/c the little blonde brat essentially STOLE her favorite clip. It would be one thing if she were coming home from school that day, but it HAD to be the day she went to her idiot BM's house. So I got left with a crying, upset child who knows damn well she will never see her clip again b/c idiot SD took it, and SO is apparently oblivious to the whole thing, and SD8 is all smug and glorified b/c she got away with something before anyone could catch her. Still have not had the stupid clip returned and I have to hear about it once a week, AT LEAST. SO, good luck with that war! I also like the suggestion of the sharing being done through a parent. We have 2 girls who are (please forgive the un PC term) "indian givers". They will be getting along fine, and sharing things between themselves, when all of the sudden one wants something back, and WWIII breaks out. They are pounding on the other's door, shoving their way into the room and trashing the other kid's room to get back some stupid item.