Never felt more hopeless.

Not step related. Just need extra support right now.

I feel like a broken shell of a person tonight. As some may know from my past blogs, my mom has been fighting a wicked battle with Kidney Cancer that has spread to her lungs and has had both kidneys removed and has been 100% reliant on dialysis since April of 2023.

The cancer on her lungs is growing. At this rate, our plan of giving her one of my kidneys is looking less and less likley since it's becoming impossible for her to stay cancer free long enough for them to consider her a candidate for transplant.

The cancer on her lungs is growing larger and larger.

I am losing hope and I'm watching my mom slowly die with no quality of life. She's in the hospital again and I just left there.

I just lost my dad to Colon Cancer December 2021. I'm currently five months pregnant with my first child and wanted to give my mom the gift of her only grandchild and at this rate, I don't even know if she'll make it long enough to meet him.

My life feels like a sick and twisted joke right now.

Rose_Pedal's blog
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Comments

I'm so sorry you are going

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending good thoughts your way for strength and peace. Take care of yourself as much as you can. I hope your mother gets to meet your baby.

I hope so.

I hope more than ever my mom can meet my son when he gets here. I thank you so much for the kind words and your thoughts.

Oh, Sweetie!

Truly, my heart hurts for you. Having lost my beloved Mom on 4 Jan, 5 years ago and still missing her terribly, I can well understand your misery. Like your own mother, mine was wise, generous and always there for us. Watching your dear Mom slipping away, slowly diminishing, must seem like an almost unbearable punishment.

How I would love to teleport myself to Chez Rose_Pedal and deliver the biggest, squeeziest hug ever! Failing that, please know that I’ll be thinking of you and sending up sincere prayers for your mom.

You’re the best.

I thank you so much for your words. You always make me feel better and have the most comforting way about you Grannyd.

I'm so sorry that you understand this pain, it is a sad club to be a part of. I'm still mourning my dad and the thought of going through this all over with my mom is just wrecking me. I was very blessed and my mom is an angel. It sounds like you were blessed enough to have the same thing. 5 years ago is not that long ago either. I'm so sorry and my thoughts will be with you, especially tomorrow.

Hugs right back to you!

((((Hugs))))

I am so sorry for your emotional pain.

Don't forget to take care of you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much Rags. Hugs back. I appreciate your words.

I'm so very sorry you are

I'm so very sorry you are going through this. Its awful losing one's parents. So hard. And I hope for brighter days for you in the future

A pain I can’t describe.

I could have never imagined a pain like this. When I lost my dad 2 years ago I thought there could be nothing worse than the emptiness and sadness and now here I am watching my mom wither away and this feels like a living hell.
Thank you for your words of comfort and kindness.

My heart breaks for you

How awful, especially when you thought there was hope for her to get better. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't even imagine how hard it is. Hang in there, things have a way of getting worse before they get better, but they will get better.

Thank you.

Thank you for your kindness and love. One of the reasons I really appreciate this site.

My heart breaks for you.... I

My heart breaks for you.... I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm sending hugs to you and will keep you in my prayers.

We love you and we are here for you.

Reedle

<3

I never could have foreseen this as my future at the age of 30. Life is just crazy and sometimes so unfair.

Thank you for your kind words.

It is heartbreaking watching

It is heartbreaking watching someone we have loved so much and for so many years slowly dwindle. Focus on the good times you had with her. Remind her of the fun times you had together even though she might not hear you. Bring that ray of light into her life.

I'm sending you all the positive vibes I can muster.

Please be kind to yourself.

(((((HUGS)))))

The worst.

It truly is the worst thing in the entire world. I could have never pictured this happening at this point in my life. My mom is an absolute angel and has never had an enemy in her entire life. She is my world. This is the hardest thing. I have no idea how I'm going to continue to make it through this.

Sending you so much love.

Sending you so much love. Life has been handing you turd sandwiches and it sucks. I hope and pray your mom hangs in there to meet and love on your sweet baby. As a mom whose own mom was there when my daughter was born, I know there is a special connect between mothers and daughters bringing life into the world.

If your mother is up to it, I urge you to consider having her record some story books so that your child can see/hear grandma reading them a bed time story, or at least record her telling some facts about her or you as a child.

(((Hugs)))

Take care of you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts.

I also love the recording idea and can't wait to do this with her.
Thank you everyone.