Well - you don't HAVE TO do anything.

DH and I got married in a park with only our two best friends (no stepkid), and didn't tell anyone beforehand.  My mother was really mad and so was the stepkid, who was 13 at the time.  They both got over it.

Then around 6 months later, we had a dinner that skid attended, as well as our family and a few close friends. This made my mother and skid feel better.  Whole thing probably cost us 4K.

Do what's best for you, not everyone else.

No. You don’t HAVE to have three weddings. That is absolutely ridiculous. 

At this point, I’d elope at a beautiful location,  and have a party when everyone can join. It’s YOUR wedding, not anyone else’s! 

If you start this tradition of accommodating everyone it will never end. 

Hell no. Damn, I wouldn't even want a wedding any more. They can thow a party they can all dress up for and eat cake until they burst. 

Your FH didn’t think to check when his kid was graduating before you planned all this? Or even have the foresight to suggest a different month entirely in the off chance there’d be a conflict? Does he enjoy flushing money down the toilet? I’d be pissed. You don’t have to have 3 weddings, especially not just to accommodate skids, that’s ridiculous. I’m guessing all the work & planning is falling to you as well, with your FH simply expecting you to cater to his kids? Red flags girl, signs of what’s to come if you allow this nonsense to continue. 

people state when they are getting married, family or not if you have other plans then you don’t go to the wedding.

nowhere do you guilt the future married couple into changing things

one of my husbands nephew got married earlier this year. We were told 6 months before. In his family you know at least a year in advance. Well we didn’t go because we had already bought tickets to my home country on sale and hubby was wanting to reschedule our tickets meaning we’d pay $4000 instead of the $2300 we paid. 

I told hubby now we are wasting money because someone was inconsiderate and the mother of the groom was getting shitty no one from our family was available. They know we book our tickets a year in advance, if you won’t give the courtesy don’t expect miracles but if people can’t make it then tough

if you are trying to make things perfect you will never make everyone satisfied

There is absolutely no way I would do this. Ridiculous.

So youi're getting married for your family? For your stepkids? For your friends? No. You're getting married for YOU. Stomp on this ridiculous idea right now. You plan the wedding you want. Anyone who wants to throw a huge party to celebrate it afterwards (i.e. your family in your homeland) is welcome to do so. Nobody said you have to have a wedding that includes all your family and friends later on. 

Big weddings are such a waste of money anyway. And they're overrated. Do what will bring YOU joy and the rest of them can be there or not. Stop trying to please everyone because that is an impossible task.

I may be missing something, but it sounds like the 3 weddings are: 1 your family in another country (understandable if they can't travel, cost efficiency, cultural traditions, etc.), 1 for DH family and your friends in the US (understandable given that your family lives out of the country), but I'm not understanding why the last one (actually 1st) at the courthouse is necessary.  Why not just wait to make it "official" at the one with his family/friends?  Like the other comment, I would be ticked that DH didn't check on the college graduation date ahead of time.  It sounds like something my MR. ED would do.  But...taking SSs college graduation into consideration isn't just for him, but also for DH...yeah?

Three weddings is a bit over the top.  And your DH is to blame for not checking when his kid graduates.  Hell we were invited to my dream vacation next spring but I declined because it will fall during the time my OSS May graduate from college and we don’t even speak to him.  But just in case he stops being a jerk and DH is invited, I didn’t want anything to interfere.   I would think you have had plenty of time to plan a wedding around everyone’s schedules.  Are you having to get married by a certain date for immigration reasons?  Just wondering why the insistence on three different dates?

FIrst world problems, with $50k to throw at it...what a disgrace, how utterly painful!  WTF?? 

Elope, go to the courthouse, elope and be done.  Or go to a small chapel indoor/outdoor on a weekday just the two of you.  DO a celebration or not later.   We never did a celebration dinner or anything.  

I really struggle to understand this countries obessesion with expensive costly weddings-especially with divorce culture of 50 plus percent ending divorced anwyays- keep that money for an atty retainer just in case. Egads.