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Combating a delusion

Riley63's picture

For some time now my SD9 has thought that her BM does not wrong and that at a magical age she can "decide" to go live with her. Recently DH has decided to let her read all the emails that are sent and the nasty, rude responses that are sent back from BM. The latest event happened this morning. DH sent an email letting BK know that sending SD9 home with soiled clothes (as she still wets herself) was unacceptable as this very rarely happens at our house and if she could please buy her clothes for the 4 days she is with her a month. BM in turn sent a hateful email saying she was not aware of any problem and did not have time to wash her clothes before returning her home. She also proceeding to go on a rant about how she turned off her txting feature two years ago and he keeps communicating with her that way. (This info was never told to us). I think she is delusional and needs to step up and be a mom and talk to SD9 about her wetting problem as well as stop talking negative about DH as we do not do this in front of SD9 EVER.

Comments

Pantera's picture

I know it sounds harsh, but I wish my DH would have done this with SS10. He still lets SS10 put BM on that pedestal. Sometimes kids need to know the truth. In my SS's case, I think him knowing some things about BM would have really helped our situation.

Jsmom's picture

If she doesn't back you up now, it will get worse. My SD14 came home after her 14th birthday and announced that she and mom are working on having her stay with her full time. She got her wish. He is giving up custody. Read my blogs, our issues started out small with BM not backing us up and being the fun house. I.e. no rules. Good luck. I will say my life is easier with her gone. As bad as that sounds, it is a relief for everyone and my DH is a little more at ease now. Good luck.

Riley63's picture

The only way that BM would get custody of SD9 is if she fought it in court and was able to prove our house unfit for SD9 to live in, which it is not. There are many reasons that BM does not have primary custody and only sees her daughter every other weekend. I cannot imagine not having SD9 in our home and DH would never think of giving up his rights to allow SD9 to go live with BM.

Jsmom's picture

We said the same thing. We know our home is better, but the BM would win in court. Dad's don't usually win here. We spoke to attorneys and have spent thousands on a retainer and ultimately we know we will lose. So why keep fighting for a teenager that doesn't want to live with you anyway? My SD wants to live where there are no rules, so now she does. It broke his heart to do this, but we can't win anyway.