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So close to not giving a damn anymore...

redheaded_stepmom's picture

We now have another zero to add to the list and more "I don't give a F**K!" attitude from SD14. DH and I have talked about it and are both concerned about SD's attitude concerning everything lately. She doesn't seem to care that she is in trouble for anything and she is already disregarding her grounding. DH and I talked about taking away all of her priveleges and making her earn them back one by one. Not giving her a time limit (you are losing your computer for a week) but setting expectation goals for her to meet and maintain in order to get the priveleges back. I got the idea from a friend of mine whose mother used this on her and her siblings when she was growing up. She says it never happened more than once for each of them. She even got her bedroom door taken away and had to earn it back! She said it took her 6 months to earn her privacy back. I think this is an excellent idea and the last resort for us. I feel like we are no longer effective parents for SD14 because nothing we try works anymore. I am so tired of the up and down in this house with SD14. One minute she is great and helpful and cooperative and the next she is this angry and hateful and disrespectful. I am just about to the point where I tell DH I am done with this and he can handle her on his own.

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Rags's picture

I would turn up the punishment heat and give her some heavy manual labor to do. Put her ass in the back yard with a pick and a shovel and tell her you want every inch of grass dug up, turned, a 1000lbs of fertilized turned in to the soil by hand, the lawn reseeded then mowed and weeded once a week. That should be the price for her door key continuing to work. After her 14yo soft young lady hands turn in to cracked and bleeding manual labor man hands she may get the message.

If she keeps up the crap don't just take the computer away ...... take it out to the drive way and beat the snot out of his with a sledgehammer while she watches. Then hand her the pieces and tell her she can earn the money and buy one for herself if she wants another one. Then take her to McD's to fill out a job application.

Accountability works intermittently with our Son (my SS-17). When we are on him like stink on shit he performs. When we back off he shoves his head up his ass. That is why his graduation gift from his Mom and I is a trip to the Marine Corps recruiting office. When he finishes his first enlistment we will consider helping him with college.

After his proven history of not being able to stay focused, the Marine Corps is his price of admission to the Mom and Dad Rags scholarship fund.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

redheaded_stepmom's picture

Rags~~ You are right up my alley! If she was mine that is probably exactly the kind of action I would take, but I don't think the DH will go for it. We can't be that hard on her, you know...whatever. I think that is a big part of why she has this attitude about everything...she knows deep down she's got Daddy wrapped around her pinky...all she has to do is break down and shed a tear and he goes all soft on her...works EVERY time. He frustrates me because he will come down hard on her and then turn around and give her everything she wants, whenever she wants. Not the best way to teach her a lesson in my opinion. We work together as a team when it comes to SD, but he always has the final say, of course, that is the way it should be, I just wish he would stick to his guns a little better. I honestly think if I had not come along, she would be wiping the floor with his ass. The high school she goes to has an ROTC program...we are thinking about getting her into that for next year...she needs a swift kick in the ass.

Kb3Hooah's picture

RH_SM I think that's a good idea as well! Especially taking the door off it's hinges. My parents did this to me as a teenager and I hated it!! I also agree with Rags on giving her some manual labor to do. Make your home like a boot camp. Get her up at 6am on the weekends, and put her to work for 8 hours.

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