Hi

i have been reading step talk for a while and I think most of you make great insights and comments. That is the reason I follow this page although I am not a step parent and neither is my husband. We have a very serious problem with my MIL. I think this is the reason I came across step talk since you post some issues regarding in laws. To put you in context, my MIL is a narcissistic that uses his children as supply. She is most of her time alone since nobody can't stand her. My FIL is codependent ( I think) a sweet man that tries not to talk and to be far from Her most of his time. He never confront her (or almost never). My SO and his brother were practically raised by this narcissistic and  control addict mother since father was busy working and too afraid to talk or to intervene in their mother business. Welll, my SO is 43 and I am 37. We have DS4months and the problem with my MIL has exploded. It all started when I gave birth and my father and mother in law came every day. I was very sore after the birth and I couldn't seat properly. I had to breasfeed my son lying in bed and I usually was in CONSTANT pain. I thought i would go crazy because of the pain of the post partum stitches. I was taking pills for 40 days . In these days, when my MIL visited I started to feel bad because she started to make comments regarding my breasts saying I couldn't make enough milk and she could breastfed her children perfectly (although later I learnt it was not true but anyway the point is she hurt me on purpose when I was in pain physically and in a vulnerable place emotionally). Not only this comment, many other comments and intrusions to my privacy . She insisted in coming for my son's first bath and she always wanted to hold him and even started to tell me recently that I should stop breastfeeding (I have managed to finally get a whole and beautiful breastfeeding with my child). She also insists in not following the pediatrician recommendations and instead following HER recommendation (she didn't attend school, she barely can read and write) . All this would matter to me if my husband wouldn't worship her and he even administered medication (harmless drugs for constipation) even when the doctor told us it was not recommendable and the baby didn't need them. 
My MiL started to come To my house every day without notice . In order not to be rude I tried to use white lies or simply arranged to be walking with the baby not to coincide with her and be able to breathe freely and enjoy my baby and my time off from work. She also messaged me several days to  come To my house and I decided to put boundaries and only allowed her to come one day during the working days. We also take the baby to their home on the weekend so in my mind I thought it was a good arrangement. She got to see her grandson twice every week! things could have remained calm and happy since my husband didn't say anything. However yesterday I was all day out of the house with my son visiting my parents (I visit them Once or twice a week just for your reference, I try to be fair ) . When I came back my So was extremely angry saying that I shouldn't avoid his mother  and put poker faces to her . He told me she had been at home that day crying and complaining about not seeing his grand son (she saw him last Saturday and Monday) . She also said that I should make my things and let her babysit my baby for a few days. My So told her that he would talk to me. He has told me that I MUST text her mother twice in working days to let her know when the baby is awake to see him. Also, In the weekend, she MUsT see the baby again. I told hiM that if my parents would require the same the child will receive a grandparent visit six days a week so only One day free to do other stuff or see friends, uncles, etc . However I haven't been able to make him change his mind (or his mother mind!) and he insists that if I don't accept want to be divorced to have the child every other week and be able to take him to his mother . What can I do? I think it is a very unfair deal and I should be free to spend my time with whoever I want specially after I always try that my MIL sees his grandson Twice a week. I Also never let her be alone with my child and I think this is another demand although I haven't been told directly. I do all the childcare and run the house hold. My husband sleeps in other bedroom and has never helped me during the nights. He helps during the day and works a lot so I dont complain about him much more except for today. He was so angry that he hit a chair with the floor. I was a little afraid to be honest. He was shouting very loud and calling me names. I have not insulted him or his family only telling him I need privacy and I like to do long walks with my child in the stroller (which is true ! ) so I wouldn't like to be two afternoons glued to the chair or walking slowly  with his mother (she walks very little for a knee problem). I know he is an asshole specially in this episode but I cannot think of leaving my 4 month son in his hands and his mother's hands every other week so I don't want the divorce... please help and sorry for my English ( I am not native )