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Feelings

Red-headed_Stepmom's picture

Submitted by Red-headed_Stepmom on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 6:19am

I don't know how to handle this, how to handle these feelings.

The hurt isn't like a sharp pain, it's like a low-grade hurt that you can almost ignore, until you realize how long it's been there and how it eats away at you. And if I'm good, I can take a step back and see how it has gnawed it's way into that layer of depression that's been there forever and spread through it, insidiously sneaking it's way in until the hurt is as pervasive as the depression that is always just below the surface ... and I wonder if there is any way to rebuild around any of it.

I feel like I have to choose between my love for BF, my love for the boys and being true to myself and getting rid of this sneaky, gnawing pain that is eating away at me. And I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I am up to the choice or able to live through it.

Comments

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 6:36am

What specifically is causing the pain?

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 9:00am

I feel the same way. I think it is my gut telling me that being with my BF is not the right thing for me and my logical mind is not wanting to accept that, deal with it, act on it...and so, I'm in pain.

Do you think the same is true for you? I started feeling this way a year ago...it took me months to accept that there was a real reason I was feeling this way...only in the last few months have I looked at the problem dead on and been honest with myself...

Sorry you're going through this.