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Fight or flight is killing me!!!!

red flags's picture

I did FDH the FAVOR of staying at my brother's place last night. Only to avoid fighting in front of SD10 so she could feed it back to BM. I do this all the time. Every time we are in a fight of his making, I leave so that the princess doesn't see me sweat, and so I don't get to turn into the "crazy bitch" my FDH describes as every female that has ever disagreed with him. Sometimes it's my parents' sometimes its my brother's, but IRONICALLY, it's not MY house that I OWN! Why? Well bc we put tenants in MY house. Hs relatives and at a rate of half my mortgage. Seriously, somebody on here just tell me I'm an idiot so I can snap out of it. I shut down my law office to combine w his and make things more efficient so he could make more $$$$.(I'm personally responsible for our commercial lease... Awesome) I left my home to tenants bc I was invested in our relationship. And tonight I get "I'm not really sure what I want" from a 48 year old Disney dad that has essentially let me serve up my independent life on a platter. If there is a "Snapped" marathon on, I'm in! Is it shitty to go to bed first and lock the bedroom door?

Comments

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry to hear all of this Sad Just out of curiosity, whose idea was it to rent the house and combine the practices? And what sort of lease are the tenants under? (If this is in any of your previous blogs, forgive me and I'll just go read them if you say the word).

And I would totally go to bed first and lock the bedroom door when SO acts like an ass, if our bedroom door locked of course! I guess that's just another thing to add to the list of what I want when I buy my own house. A lock for my bedroom door.

Krispey Kreme's picture

Dog Person, girl the longer you hang around, the harder it will be. Making such big changes is hard, but you'll feel so much better after you made the move. Cut your losses and move forward. This was a learning experience, now you know what kind of man you DON'T want.

RedWingsFan's picture

^^^I SOOOOOO agree with Krispey Kreme...cut your losses and move on. You won't regret it. From what I've read of your posts, you'd be better off without the problems!

oneoffour's picture

Yes you are and idiot. There, said it.
Now work on extracting yourself from this mess, minimalise your losses and once you are ready to move on do not renew the lease on the tenants.

It may take you about a year to move on and out. But seriously, lock yourself in the bedroom first and turn up the TV. If he threatens to knock the door down scream at him he better not or you will call the police and 'his precious' will see Daddy carted away for DV.

Start taking items of value out of the house and store somewhere he will not find them.

doll faced sm's picture

Just make sure you've been studying up; I hear forensics these days are amazing. ;P

StickAFork's picture

You're an idiot.
Feel better?
Probably not... but... you say you "do this all the time" which is leave because you're fighting?
I don't get that.
Totally go watch a Snapped marathon, eat ice cream, drink wine, and move on.

Krispey Kreme's picture

Snapped is a crime show about real women who have killed husbands/boyfriends, etc. It is compelling to watch. And sometimes I can really relate to their lives.

lawyergirl06's picture

I love Snapped! I live for that show, it's the one bright spot I get during the week. Fantasizing about killing BM but the show reminds me that I am never going to get away with it. LOL.

I know opening your own practice is expensive but are there jobs where you are that would allow you to extract yourself from this firm and start fresh? How long is the commercial lease?

Jsmom's picture

Kick him out of the house....I will not ever understand this. I kept my house and rented it out as well. But, using a management company am making a profit. MY MONEY! I never combined funds with DH. That has saved a big part of our marriage.

You need to cut your losses now and stop being so entrenched with him financially. That is crazy!

Krispey Kreme's picture

Snap? No, it could result in jail time for you, not a good outcome. Instead, channel your inner Donald Trump and tell this mook that he is FIRED! Get away from him and his dysfunction. The longer you stay, the worse it will be to finally break free and it sounds like you badly need to break free. These kinds of situations can be like quicksand. Take back your life before it is too late. Resolve to be more careful with the next guy. Don't worry about either of them, they'll find someone else to use and abuse once you are gone, that's how those kinds of people roll. Good luck!

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.....

Gabriels Mom's picture

Whenever DH is being an ass I tell him "Keep it up and you'll be my co-star on the next episode of snapped."