The cops refused to do anything

Dh tried to enforce visitation this weekend and his kids refused to answer the door or their phones. So dh texted bm he would be calling the police as he has 50/50 custody. He took his CO to the police station and the officer he talked to basically told him that it sucks to be him and he needs to hire an attorney. DH texted his kids and said he wanted just him and them for dinner and none of them responded to him. He is really upset and i am trying to support him but I feel awful knowing they won't see him because of me. How much longer till he realizes I am not worth it?

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The police can do

The police can do something.

What they were saying they wouldn't do was to go over and help him get him. As he was presenting it, it wasn't an emergency and they can't seize a child.

What they CAN do is do a welfare check on his kids if no one is answering the door or their phones. Annoying? Yes. Effective at checking on their safety and documenting that BM has kept them out of touch? Yes.

Secondly, they CAN write up a report for your husband that he could use in court. Right now, unless there's some other form of documentation going on, it is BM's word against his. We've called the non-emergency police line in the past to get a report written up. They don't even need to send officers out. They'll just talk to you and write something up. That, plus the CO showing the kids were supposed to be with him on that day, is pretty powerful proof.

I doubt the BM had anything

I doubt the BM had anything to do or say to her children that caused the pick-up rebellion. These kids aren't going, don't want to go and short of picking up a teenage 15-16yr old male and , what, carrying him to the car, what can she do?

I think it was Tog whose SS pulled this stunt 'I'm not going and nobody can make me'. Absolutely refused to go. Hid outside the back door or something like that. The police IIRC did speak to the kid, assured he was ok and that it was kid's decision kid wasn't going and then they left. Yes, I think the police likely gave Dad a report.

The OP's stepkids were willing to go to Dad's and even when OP would come by, but now that OP is doing the moving in on weekends or whatever she's attempting to do, the skids have made clear they will have no part of it.

I agree with you that Dad should be encouraged to see his kids minus the OP. I'm sure they miss their father. They may have even been willing to do the dinner outing thing with Dad had it been the initial offer and not after attempting to take the kids for whole visitation against their will.

Yes. The advice of calling

Yes. The advice of calling the cops to enforce a custody order is empty. The worst part about steplife was the moment we realized we spent 8k for fancy written papers that are completely useless. I think he should just let them go, hopefully they'll change their mind eventually but really there's nothing left to do but get on with his life occasionally letting them know he's thinking about them.

Please google your states

Please google your states codes for child custody interference and penal codes.

A court order is a court order. YOUR court order must be in forced as much as a protection order would be.

BE prepared to be told they will not get involved especially by saying they will not tare way a kid from their Mom. When they say this tell them you want to file a criminal report outlining the penal code violations. DO NOT SETTLE for an incident report.

Remind them she is not above the law...repeat, she and NO one is above the law and that she can either release your child to you according to the current court order OR she will be charged/or arrested for the violations. The chose is her's NOT their's.

File a welfare check for your child and criminal report outlining the contempt of court, willful disobedience of a written court order, deprivation of custody OR right to visitation non-custodial person: Detainment or Concealment of child to legal custodian (you during visits) look up your states codes before you call.
Next time the mom refuses to exchange the child call your law enforcement agency and request assistance also request a welfare check on the child....

be sure to have your custody order in hand and cite the corresponding penal codes.

**screen shot and taken from a dad who has gone thru this and no longer has to because his x stopped keeping his kids from him**
THIS IS NOT WASTING or the misuse of our fine police force. No one is above the law. A court order is a court order.

I am not suggesting anything other than telling you this has worked for other parents and of course check with your lawyer too.

Do not allow the police to file an Incident Report. An incident report is a report where the party(ies) agree no penal cods where violated while a CRIMINAL report states penal codes were violated.

The mother is not withholding

:? :? :? :?

The mother is not withholding the kids

OK Disney Fan thank you for

OK Disney Fan thank you for clarification....

There is a difference between

There is a difference between civil and criminal law. Police enforce criminal law, not civil law. A custody order is civil, a protection order is criminal. There is no way a parent is going to be arrested for not giving up their child to the other parent without paperwork beyond a custody order. If someone violates a protection order they can be arrested on the spot.

Contempt of court has to go through the court system. A police officer cannot determine that contempt of court has taken place. They cannot arrest someone for contempt of court unless a warrant has been issued. Most of the examples you give might happen, but after a court hearing.

Asking for a welfare check is a misuse of the system unless you honestly believe the children are in danger. The police will soon figure out what you are doing and will consider it an abuse of the system.

An incident report that can be used in civil court is what will be filed because no criminal incident has taken place.

I called the local police

I called the local police department because BM was threating to keep the kids because DH didn't want to give her more money (above and beyond CS). They told me that if BM was at her house with the kids and refusing to give up the kids to call them. If she was not at her house, we had to go to court. They said the same as you pointed out, civil vs criminal.

I think the only reason they offered to come out to BM's house if she was home was to talk to her and maybe their presence alone would be enough to scare her. They never said anything about arresting her or making her give the kids up.

Ram, I am curious. The kids

Ram, I am curious. The kids used to come, happily, but now won't because of you losing it. How badly did you lose it with them? Can you see why they wouldn't want to come after that or are they being over reactive.

I had a bad case of ppd. I

I had a bad case of ppd. I thought I was holding it together well until ss and the kittens. When that happened I really felt I was justified in what I was feeling and my behavior towards him. It was bad. It was very bad. I was very close to being committed for help if that explains how bad I got. I don't want to go back into all that happened because I don't want to go back to that place. I don't think bm and the stepkids know how sick I was and that, that isn't me.

Please do not be so hard on yourself---