One of my senior employees missed work on Monday. At the CourtHouse filing to end CS.
He came to work yesterday on a cloud. He said that he was the only person at the courthouse walking around with a smile on his face. He has four children. Two from his first marriage (21 and 18) and two with his current Wife.
He came to my office and just sat there with a big ol grin on his face, turned to me and said. "17 years $130,000 and I just got a $600/mo raise". "My XW is going to freak out. I am not calling to tell her, the CSE will send her a letter".
I ran the numbers on CS that my Wife receives from "BioDad" (though SpermGrandMa has always paid it). SS will not get even close to half of that amount in support from his BioDad. BioDad is such a loser. I detest the idiot.
Though I am married to the CP who receives CS for our Son (my SS) we will celebrate in another 13mos when our Son is done with HS and turns 18. We purposely manipulated the SpermClan to take SS for his B-Day this year so that they cannot have him for his 18th. We will be celebrating many things on his B-Day. Him and his birthday, HS graduation, starting college, and though his Mom and I will never say a word, we will mostly be celebrating the end of Visitation with THEM. No more vitriolic crap, no more tolerating their petty toothless idiot thoughts, no more having to put our kid on a plane when he really does not want to go, no more paying for half of the travel to THEM, no more having to answer the phone when THEY show up on the caller ID, no more having to be measured and nice in our comments when SS comes home with a "Why does dad have so many kids when he has never been married to any of the Mom's", no more having to hear THEM whine about how unfairly they are treated by the courts, no more hearing THEM whine about how the pittance of CS THEY pay for my SS prevents THEM from providing "nice" things for the other three out-of-wedlock spawn.
When the telephone rings with SpermGrandMa calling a few weeks after SS's 18th birthday with "We need to make Christmas travel arrangements"
I can't wait to say "Um.... there is no Visitation. He will not be coming EVER AGAIN because he has important priorities in his life that do not include you or your idiot son".
When she says "But WE still have to pay CS so WE get visitation" I can't wait to respond with "YOU have never gotten visitation, your IDIOT son has. Read the judgement MORON, your idiot son is on the hook for CS until SS is age 21 as long as he is a college student but visitation ends at 18".
Then she will say (because she always says this every time she calls) "BioDad has never paid CS or travel costs. I had to do it because he wouldn't and YOU moved SS out of state".
And I will make the coup de grace "HE would have been liable for much more in CS had my Wife stayed in your liberal cesspool of a state because her income would have been lower and your IDIOT son would have been paying a higher percentage of his income to my Wife. Cut his pecker off with the kitchen sheers so at least he won't add any more illegitimate children to the mix that you will be guilt ridden to support. If you had done that after SS was born you would not be raising his three younger out-of-wedlock Spawn ....... Goodbye, don't ever call back....... CLICK!"
Oh how the fantasy of that moment motivates me.
Bring on 18!
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Rags
This post interests me.... So CS goes until 21, but after 18 you don't have to enforce visitation? That's GREAT!!!
CS goes to 21 if the Skid is a full time college student with
adequate grades. At 18 or HS graduation whichever is later CS ceases going to the CP and goes directly to the SKid. If the Skid does not file for CS promptly upon starting the first regular college semester following either HS graduation or 18th B-day, whichever is later, then any further CS is forfeit and can not be obtained in the future. If the Skid fails to comply with the target college GPA CS ends and cannot be started again.
The Visitation component of the CO ends at 18 at which point the Skid can choose to visit who he wants, when he wants. Neither the CP nor the NCP are required to participate in Visitation travel costs after age 18 or HS graduation whichever is later.
Sooooooo, once he is 18 We will not be contributing anything for travel to THEM. We will pay to get him home from school and back to school and for his participation in any family vacations (our half of his blended family) but if he wants to see THEM then that is on THEM (or him). Since collectively THEY do not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of it is highly likely that THEY won't see him again for many years.
Some states and/or counties have supplemental rules regarding CS and Visitation. None of the the above is in our judgement directly but the judgement references the County supplemental rules for anything not specifically referenced in the Judgement.
Check for Supplemental State and County rules that may apply to your situation in the County of Jurisdiction for your Custody/Visitation/Support case.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Rags..
I'm just really happy for you and hopeful for us.... about the whole visitation thing. So far, we aren't getting CS now, and we made a deal with BM (she finally agreed to it, kicking and complaining) that she will give us a reduced amount of CS all as one lump sum when SD graduates high school. If we were to force CS on her now she'd lose her house and we felt that would be more pressure on SD (BM saying how poor she is and NOW she'd have to sell the house because DH and Stick are doing blah blah blah...) So we again, gave BM a way to make it through without us taking the complete hit. I'll believe we get it when I see it though.
BUT THE THOUGHT THAT visitation will end!! And that we won't be having to force SD to see her BM!! All of those arguments and talks and the SD getting headaches and stomach aches and moping ... ALL GONE!!
I can't wait... thanks!!! You made me realize something today that just made my day! 2 1/2 more years!!!!
Is the LumpSum agreement in a Judgement or CO document?
And, I would file a lean on her home now which you can waive when she pays off the LumpSum in the future.
For sure I would get the LumpSum agreement in front of a judge so that it can be incorporated in to the Judgement. Though not bullet proof, this would make it much harder for BM to weasel out of in the future.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
LumpSum Agreement
That's what we are working on now. The mediator said that my DH and BM could do it together without incurring cost of himself, or another attorney. But DH is drawing up the paperwork, BM will sign, and we are asking Mediator to file. We are also considering putting a lien on the house because this is the 2nd lump sum that BM will owe us. She will owe us her Child Support lump sum at graduation, as well as DH's interest from giving her the marital residence at child graduation. So yes, I am concerned about collecting BOTH. But both of them were much less than she'd have to pay if DH stuck to NYS 17% or if DH enforced his real share of the real estimated value of the house. We are trying to be very fair and not make BM go bankrupt. But yes, we will be getting it in a CO document. That is definitely something I have learned from being on this site! Thanks!
My BF's CS stops at 18 or
My BF's CS stops at 18 or out of high school. Nothing about 21 or college, so it is not the same for everyone, has to be in your divorce papers. Rags, your DW had a good attorney!
Nope...I'm in CA. There is
Nope...I'm in CA. There is something called a disomaster (I think that's what it's called). If you know incomes of both parents and a few more specifics, you can go online and do it yourself. That is what our court systems go by. That way it can't be so personal...it is what it is. (also in CA, it is a no-fault state, don't know if NY is now or not, but I know adultry or abuse was once the only way to get a divorce there, and it made the attorneys rich. I know I lived in NY for many years and worked for a divorce attorney) Now if either parent tries to lie or hide money...that's another story. But in most instances it's pretty easy to determine income of both bios in order to determine CS. I do think that the 21 thing is ridiculous...why should anyone be REQUIRED to pay for college for any kid, divorced or not. If it's required for whomever is required to pay CS,...then it should be a law for all parents to have to pay for their kids college until age 21. If you have the money to send your kids to college and pay for all...great, but if not there are a lot of ways kids can go to college these days, (CA schools tuition is cheap), there's financial aid, there's student loans. I got student loans...I told my daugther she can do the same thing.
Most states have CS calculation systems similar to CA these days
The States that we have always lived in do. However, we have stuck with the the original county of Jurisdiction because it has the lowest base level of visitation and above all else we have tried to keep THEIR influence on my SS to a minimum. Though the CS guidelines in the County of Jurisdiction are very low compared to any of the County's that we have lived in over the past 15+ years, money has never been our concern. We could have moved the case to some of the most conservative county's in the country that would have raised BioDads CS level from a ~$300 a month to $800-$1200 a month. But visitation would have increased significantly from the ~7wks a year we currently and have always dealt with to 15-20 wks a year. My Skid would be absolutely a basket case if he had to spend that much time with his Moron father and the Idiot SpermClan.
So, we play the "do what we want or we will move Jurisdiction to the Skids county of residence and your CS will go up by hundreds of dollars a month" game. They are too stupid to look up all of the impact of a change of Jurisdiction and just panic about the money. So we give up the money to play the visitation to my SS's advantage all while keeping very tight control over compliance with the Judgement and not allowing THEM to stray very far from the box. Which is exactly where we want them.
As for the CS until 21 for a college student thing. I don't disagree with you. It is not fair but it is what it is, at least in our County of Jurisdiction. However, since it is an option in our situation, we will keep BioDad on the hook just so we have that influence over THEM. If we did not have CS over them they would tend to try to pout and whine until my SS did what they wanted. Keeping CS in play allows us to be able to hold the CS review process over their heads until my SS is out of college and he will be more capable of making his own (good) decisions on how to interface with the Sperm side of his family. Any possibility of an increase of CS causes them to go in to complete apoplexy.
In 15yrs we have only requested a CS review one time. That was when I was recently LayedOff and CS was only $113/Mo and had not been reviewed for 9yrs. It more than tripled as a result of that review. Since then BioDad has tried to get it reduced several times with the result that it goes up. He has not figured out that even though my Wife makes more and more each year that his % of CS responsibility does not go down as fast as the combined income for CP/NCP goes up. So, even if a review shows that due to increases in my Wife's income she is now responsible for a higher % of SS's support (say an increase from 50% to 60% responsible) that the actual dollars owed by the NCP goes up.
Eg:(simplified .... I know things are much more complicated than this)
Current Joint CP/NCP income allocated for child support= $1000/Mo
CP has $500/Mo available
NCP has $500/Mo available
Each parent is 50% responsible for caring for the kid. The kid lives with the CP so NCP pays $500/Mo.
During a two year review the following is found:
Total income available to support the child is $1500/Mo because CP has gotten a raise.
Judge rules that CP will be 60% responsible for the child.
CP Responsibility = 60% x $1500 = $900/Mo
NCP Responsibility = 40% x $1500 = $600/Mo
Even though the % of NCP responsibility dropped the total dollars subject to CS calculation increased and CS went up by $100/mo.
This drives BioDad and SpermGrandMa crazy because my Wife makes more than BioDad and continues to increase her income at a much faster rate than BioDad so "it is not fair that BioDad has to pay at all much less more every time he tries to get CS lowered" is a regular pout fest we have to listen to in court an on the phone.
We will pay far, far more in college related costs for SS than BioDad's paltry CS contribution. But, SS understands full well that we will provide X and BioDad's CS obligation will provide Y. If SS chooses to let BioDad off of the hook we will decrease what we contribute for SS's college. So, if SS lets BioDad off of the hook he will not only lose Y, he will also loose an equivalent amount to Y from what his Mom and I will provide. So if SS chooses to allow BioDad to stop paying CS then SS loses 2Y and not just Y.
Manipulative? Absolutely. And I am happy to do it. The idiot refuses to be accountable for his own actions and his own children and neither the Courts nor his Parents will put their foot up his ass. I will..... If only to show my Son (SS) that I am willing to do the right thing and make sure everyone else does also.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)