BM makes me so mad
What is it with these women??
Messing with kids heads. Do they not realise the damage they do??
I have had a very good relationship with ysd now 8. I ve known her since she was 2.5yo.
We have had issues before when BM has told her she is not allowed to be in the same room, touch me or hug me and not allowed in the bedroom. Thought we had sorted all that. Coming into the bedroom was dealt with in the fact if door is shut she must knock and wait but she was always welcome to come in for a morning cuddle with daddy as long as she knocked first. This worked fine.
However this year sd8 has been acting funny around me again. Ive not pushed it and if she wanted a cuddle i have done so and let her call the shots with kisses gdnight and gdbye etc. I did menton to SO that i thought she had been told again by BM to stay away. SO confirmed today that sd8 confided him that BM told her she musnt come in the bedroom full stop.
This breaks my heart that BM messes with her head. The poor child is so confused and scared she will do the wrong thing.
SO has told her she can come in the bedroom for morning cuddles in HIS house but best not to tell BM. Why does BM do this, makes my blood boil. So bloody selfish and not putting the child first. I so want to have a word with BM over this, but know its not worth it but aghhhh.
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Comments
Nothing quite as nauseating
Nothing quite as nauseating like a 12 year trying to drape themselves all over your husband. :sick:
I think the OP's point was
I think the OP's point was more about how BM is interfering with what goes on at her and SO's home, not out of concern for SD'S well being or what's appropriate but out of spite and contrary to their wishes. What I'm understanding is BM seems to make SD feel as though having an affectionate relationship with the OP is not acceptable and in general, worrying about obeying BM takes away from the quality of SD's visits with her dad.
I understand and agree with everyone's point about drawing the line eventually and although I don't think there's anything wrong with dad and SD8 snuggling, perhaps the couch would be a better place to do so? I became uncomfortable with SD6 getting in our bed last year so snuggling is reserved for movie time in the livingroom. Maybe setting boundaries that allow for affection but still respect BM'S wishes would be a better idea than continuing to deceive her, since doing it anyway and telling SD not to say anything to BM is just as bad as BM telling SD how to behave at your home.
I don't know what kind of person BM is or anything about your SO for that matter but if at all possible, your SO and BM should be having a conversation about this instead of putting SD8 in the middle of it.
Thank you i hate cats.. that
Thank you i hate cats.. that was exactly my point. We know for a fact that sd8 gets into bed wiv BM and her bf.
I hate that SD8 is made to feel she cant be herself because BM has told her not to do this or that and SO misses out on cuddles. (There is nothing wrong with cuddles she is still quite young and when appropriate cuddles in bed will stop) but thats is our choice and NOT BM choice.
I hate that BM doesnt consider the emotional side of her child and uses her to score 'points' against SO.