Overbearing SD tries to parent my toddler son
I am a 26 year old mother with a 18 month old son. Jacob, my significant other has a 17 year old "step daughter" that lives with us. She is his ex wfie's daughter that has a different dad. She constantly disobeys me when I try to set limits on how much care she can provide my son. She has taken him away from me when I have been playing with him. tries to tell me what to feed him, tells me i'm dressing him wrong. She continued to bathe him when he was infant when I asked her not to. She has even decided that she is going to potty train him against my will. Last night we had an issue that has brought me to my wits end. Isaac was overstimulated and wanted to stay up late and watch his dad play video games. When he was put in his crib, he threw a major temper tantrum (as expected) I wanted him to cry it out and give him the chance to soothe himself. Both stepdaughters (12 yo and 17 yo) decided they were going to go into Isaac's room and attempt to rock him to sleep. I thanked them for their help and told them to give Isaac back to me. They disobeyed me and told me I was a bad mother and didn't know what I was doing. I went to the girls father and he told me he already tried to get them to stay out of Isaac's room, and then continued to play his video game. When I got back into the room I demanded that Isaac was given back to me, the 17 year old then pretty much threw Isaac to me. Of course he started to cry and she insisted I gave him back. Then she followed me down the hallway asking for him and then started grabbing for him. After asking her several times to give me space, I finally reached my bedroom and slammed my bedroom door on her face and told her to go away! She was literally going to go into my own bedroom to get my son from me. My significant other blamed me for causing the issue. I have asked him to rectify this behavior, but he doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior because he thinks she's simply trying to help. I do not agree with his response. I think as a mother I should call the shots without contest and have the right to parent my son without the approval or consent from a 17 year old. I appreciate her help and I am pround that she would rather spend time with her brother than sneak out with boys or do drugs, but she is majorly overstepping her boundaries and is causing disruption. Am I wrong? How do i fix this issue?
- rachaelnoel92's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'm sorry, but I'd probably
I'm sorry, but I'd probably clock a bitch right in the mouth if she ever tried to grab my baby out of my arms. I have no non-violent advice.
Why is his former step
Why is his former step daughter living with you?
My question exactly. He has
My question exactly. He has been a part of her life since she was two, so I understand that he pretty much raised her and he has decided to take responsibility for her. She still shouldn't be my responsibility and shouldn't be allowed to run the house.
Your SO needs to tell his
Your SO needs to tell his ‘kids’ to back the eff off. I’d lose my f*cking rag at these two, they’ve got no business parenting your child whatsoever. SO needs a boot up the ass for making you think you’re the problem.
Stop "thanking them for their
Stop "thanking them for their help" and start setting boundaries:
"Do not do anything with Isaac unless I ask you to."
"Do not go in his room right now."
"I am his parent and I will decide how his sleep time is handled".
"If you do not hand over my son immediately, the police will be called."
Then repeat it as necessary. And then move out, your SO is a jerk.
What tog redux just said.
What tog redux just said.
Update:
"Significant other" is now ignoring me because he is mad I can't get along with his "kids". Wouldn't you apologize if your kids were disrespectful axe wounds? I guess he is cowaring because he knows he can't control them.
Your Significant Orifice is
Your Significant Orifice is NOT going to apologize for his his crappy "parenting" OR his craptastic kids. After all, he wouldn't want to hurt their fee-fees!!!
Others have said it - YOU need to set boundaries. Especially since Significant Orifice will NOT. YOU are the parent: not some snot-nosed teenager with a big attitude. Tell her to BACK OFF.
Can't get along with his kids
Can't get along with his kids? Eff that, they are not your equals, he needs to teach them some respect.
But, it doesn't sound like he respects you so, I guess, why should they?
Why are you there?
If this was what I had to deal with, I would get my own apartment. These skids could cause so many problems for you if they call CPS on your ‘bad’ parenting (i.e. what they would tell CPS).
No way I would put a child at risk like that. If your SO wants to get back together, it would be he visits these skids outside your home and gets both personal and couples counseling on how to be an adult.
Sitting and playing video games? You’ve got an immature man-child on your hands who is your real problem. These skids are just symptomaticof his poor parenting and immaturity.
I'd move out. If you're not
I'd move out. If you're not getting support from your SO and he can't or won't control these girls, nothing good is going to come of remaining with the three of them. Take the baby and get your own place.
Oh shit!! Mini wife syndrome!!
I have 2 sd’s 23.5 & 14.5, both tell me they won’t listen to me or will go against what i say to not do ti my 2 toddlers.
at family engagements for no reason they decided to make my daughter look untidy
the woman who birthed this child calls the shots
i told my husband there will never be a day that i will be expected or demanded to seek the approval of sd’s or that they will lecture me or tell me what they will do to my child.
Oh op, that was getting real physical and i would have firmly said “the next time you lay a hand on my kid i will call the cops”, throwing the baby at you, i’d be screaming hell on hubby that he get his little bitches out of my home. This is getting dangerous and unnecessary
i refuse to be in company of sd’s and this means i mias family weddings but unless hubby has my back and address this shit, I wouldn’t be living in that home and for hubby to blame you
Yeah and the fact that she
Yeah and the fact that she admitted that she thought Jacob was more like her boyfriend and she had feelings for him makes it worse. This was the week I gave birth to my son. She manipulated him so that she could stay home my whole maternity leave to control the situation.
She needs to go.... or you do
She needs to go.... or you do.
What?
is your partners ex sd saying she sees him more as a bf than an ex sd?
that woman needs to be out of your home before she gets to batshit crazy psychotic level because she well and truly is headed there.
she is not related to your kids so her throwing them at you is grounds for reporting to police as abuse. She must be told she does not supercede your authority and she is nothing in the eyes of the law compared to you as the biological mother who birthed and raised this child, if she doesn’t like that she can’t control things, great get pregnant with your own kid.
oh hun the situation you explained, hubby would be told to remove his girls from the home within 10 seconds out the door or i would be packing/leaving and asking for a divorce.
anytimes my sd’s seeked to undermine my authority and say they would do whatever i would in the most condescending tone in front of hubby say “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”, that tone happens dragged out and long with a firm condescending tone and hubby snaps in and says listen to my wife and the little bitches shut the eff up.
i have to be strict because they think they can feed whatever to my kids. My son is anaphylactic to eggs and severely allergic to cat dander which they have 3 cats. Them feeding my daughter egg products who then touches my son or shares an item she held is enough for cross contamination to happen and swelling of his lips and ears to occur.
just last month my hubby justified their behaviour as “they’re just being playful and for sure have no bad intentions”. I just wanted to say “really is that the daddy in you who has had no contact for 5+ yrs with them and doesn’t know them apart from all the red flags??”
i will never allow my kids to be put in harms way where they are defenseless. You have every right to not trust the sd’s because there are so many red flags already but your partner has tunnel vision combined with denial and just isn’t objective.
you do not need a non relative living in your home invading your privacy and freeloading off of you
Somebody has to go.
Make your So move SD out of your home. Like ASAP. Either SD goes or both SO and SD goes
DONE
Last night SO had the audacity to yell at me and ask me if I was pleased that the girls are mad at him. He couldn't believe I didn't have sympathy for his situation. I shook my head and walked away. This is ridiculous. Keep in mind 13 year old was recently in psychiatric hospital for 2 weeks because she was suicidal/unstable .Does anyone have experience with custody agreements or laws? There is no way my son will be left in that house with an unsupervised-uncontrollable 17 year old and a pshychotic 13 year old.
Well i assume your partner has not legally adopted the ex sd’s
so there wouldn’t be a custody order period!!
look you got 2 hot headed unstable messes at home and a pussy gaslighting of a male partner not having your back or protecting his biological child(ren).
Have you got family nearby you can move back with. Your partner needs to protect your and your kids privacy. This is an unhealthy environment to live in. He can if he chooses to maintain a relationship with the ex sd’s but he should not be allowing them to live at home as essentially they are strangers
Oh and the Sulking is typical manipulative tactic
hoping you give in to him. Stand your ground, you know what is right and respectful so stand for it