I had babies at 40 and 44. They were lovely pregnancies but it has to be said that at this age you are not so easily able to stay up all night as you were in your twenties. This is a necessity at first so best to do this with full support from partner. You must get all your finances sorted out well as when your kids are teens you will be close to retirement possibly. In terms of general energy and ability I don't think it's an issue. To me it is more of an issue that your man is reversing a vasectomy -- what does that/will that mean to the pair of you.
Regarding having older skids, my only comment not knowing your situation would be that for you, having your own baby/ies will massively change your own relationship to them.

I regret not having one. I thought long and hard about it from 36-38, but DH and I seemed to be fighting often, it wasn't a truly happy marriage, and I have issues with our stepfamily dynamic and how he raises children. I passively let the decision not to have a child happen, but I also went off any form of birth control. No pregnancy. But we also rarely have any sex.

I regret it. I gave up something I really wanted for someone else who actually doesn't know what they want at all. Now after all this time he says "He'd have been fine with it, and he feels like an ass for denying me". I'm 41 now, the marriage is still not happy, and I have resentment that he got to have something I never will, and he's the one who, in a way, got to decide I wouldn't.

Do what you feel is right. I had my baby at 35. I don't care what anything thought.

I was 29 and 34 when I had my kids but DH was older, 38 and 42. He has been thrilled to have our kids, especially because he didn't get to really raise his 2 kids with his ex. He was the EOW dad since they were little and she was a controlling shrew, so he had little input in how they grew up. The stepkids are much older, SS is 14 years older than our DD and 18 years older than DS, but he's always been a great big brother, especially to my son. They adore each other. It's a little different with SD because she's been doing her own thing since she was a teenager and now she's away at college, so she's definitely not as close with them, but she liked being around my kids as babies.

Sometimes I think I still have an inkling for one more, but I'm 40 now and DH is about to be 49 so we're done. We should have had another 3 or 4 years ago, it's too late for DH now. We're finally at the point where both kids are in school, DD will be able to babysit in a couple more years, I just don't think I really want to start all over again. We're very happy with our 2 and feel fortunate that they're healthy and it all worked out.

HI there, I have done it both ways!!

Had my first two at 22 and 25, then the second set at 35 and 38.

Pros and cons with having them young AND having them older.

I have been a different style of mother to the younger ones, in good and bad ways I guess.

I have infinitely more patience and wisdom, more time to stop and smell the roses with them, more insight into parenting and the world. I am more stable now (hmmmm well apart from living in step hell that is)

On the flip side I have less energy. I don't really "fit in" with the school gate mums (but also - I really don't care LOL)

Conceiving was always easy for me (I lost three babies in between number two and three) right up until the last one. Took 18 months to conceive number 4 (7). That's an age thing. My body didn't bounce back anywhere near as easily at 38 as it did at 22 that's for sure!! I get cranky, I worry about anything happening to me. I want to be around to see their children grow up too (I am hopeful of surviving til the older two have kids and they are grown)

I think financially it has been easier later, I am more secure and less materialistic than in the early 20's.

I think on the whole being older (apart from the physical health aspects) is better. So, go for it!!!

The reversal will be the major hurdle. My step mother and father wanted one of their own, they had 5 between them. My father had the reversal but it didnt work out for them. However my step mother was already 40 at the time so it was pretty much a dream they both wanted to give a chance to but werent going to spend years with fertility treatment.

Hmm I managed to post before I was finished.
My point was you need to decide in your head where your head and heart lies and then you need to talk it all through with your hubby and decide how far down this road will you both go. How far will you pursue it to give yourselves the best chance of having a baby? The reversal is fine, but if after the reversal you have no joy are you both prepared to go down other avenues and if so how much and how far. How long are you happy to try for before you say enough?

I wish you all the best and hope you get what you want

Mine was an entire family of late bloomers -- my parents were 40 when they had me. My oldest brother had his last when he and his wife were 40 (surprise! His other 2 were in their teens). My middle brother had his last at 38 - he's 2 1/2 yrs older than me and his oldest and my oldest are 2 months apart in age, our 2 younger are 3 weeks apart in age. So.... I had my first at 31 and my second when I was 34.

I don't fit in with the moms at school either -- probably more like the grandmas age-wise, but I don't care about that.

One thing I've always wondered about (and I'm not asking this to be snarky....) So a guy goes thru a reversal in order to have another baby. Then what happens after the baby is born? Does the guy have ANOTHER vasectomy? I think I'd feel badly making him go thru that again (I didn't ask my first DH to have the procedure, I had a tubal 3 hrs after my second child was born).

Our situations sound similar and I'm trying to get pregnant. My dh had a vasectomy after his youngest son was born and had a reversal last July (10 years post-vasectomy). His surgery was successful, but we are in the early stages of infertility treatments due to my body not cooperating. Our boys will be 14 and 15 if/when we have a baby or even older if we end up adopting. There are some excellent boards on babycenter about different v-r doctors around the country, you might want to check those out.

I had all 4 of my kids by the time I was 30 (youngest born 10 days after my 30th birthday). Fast forward 8 yrs and my ex walked out.
I met DH when I was 40, we married on my 43rd birthday. He is 4.5 yrs older than me.
I had had a tubal clipping after my youngest was born and we discussed having our own children but the long term consequences were not what we wanted.
If you have a child at 38 you will be 56/57 when *child* graduates high school. College? 60/61. So you will have a child at graduation when you are possibly 3-5 yrs from retirement.

The chances are higher for birth defects. Are you prepared for that possibility? Are you prepared to give up your life plans to take care of a child for the rest of your life? No extended vacations. No free spirit trip-on-a-whim. Nothing done impulsively.
Just something to consider.

I still regret never having a child with my DH. I sometimes day dream about the hypothetical baby. We would have a 9/10 yr old running around now.

One thing that made me think a lot about this type of situation is often these kids of older parents don't really get to know their grandparents. I had wonderful grandparents as my parents are to my kids. I cannot imagine growing up without having that generational insight and vision.

Yet I still mourn my non-baby. BTW her name is Adelaide ... just saying. I also regret not meeting DH earlier and living in Alaska for a few years (or forever). I regret not being more sensible with money and investments. I regret not seeing the signs in my first marriage that it was fast turning into a cluster - f***.

We all want do-overs. Just making your decision will have long term consequences and may alter your future plans. DH would have to be 110% on board with you. Good luck with whatever you choose. Fostering may also be an option. I know a woman who adopted her foster child 15 yrs ago. 2 Christmases ago her case worker contacted her on Christmas Eve. A drug addict was shooting up in hospital after delivering her baby. So this 40-something woman with an 18 yr old daughter now is adopting her 2 yr old foster daughter. Just something else to consider. :=)

You're not in later life, when I read the title of your post I thought you must be in your mid 40's! I had my babies at 33, 36 and 38, after DH had a vasectomy reversal. No particular problems with the pregnancies or births. Many of the mums in the playground are my age. Energy has as much to do with fitness and attitude as it does age. The sleepless nights and workload of looking after a baby and young child can be gruelling whatever age you are, but I think you have special sense of appreciation for the magic of raising a baby when you've waited and had the opportunity to fulfil some of your life goals before taking on that commitment.