You are here

My fiance is pissed off at me again, what else is new.

puttingupwithdramainmaine's picture

Submitted by puttingupwithdr... on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 10:32am

OMG now fiance is pissed at me because he says i dont buy enough groceries for his two sons, one is 21 works, gets food stamps and never spends them and the other will be 18 in jan and is lazy and lives with us and his mother gets food stamps for him and he gets some microwave shit with some of them and I buy the food here and the moron 18 yr old stands at the cupboard and rolls up the sandwich meat and eats the whole pound at once. AND, I AM THE BAD GUY. I always get yelled at if I bring up anything at all about anything in this house. Then he gets pissed if i say this house is not my home and does not feel like my home but feels like his two kids home only that live off us. The almost 18 yr old will graduate in June and I am sure try to spend the rest of his life on our couch. What the hell do I do? I feel like I am not wanted here and it wouldnt matter if I left and my fiance will be so nice one minute then say he would leave if the house wasnt his. What should I do? I dont want to start over, I feel so alone and hurt. I cannot tell my two adult children because they would worry about me. My two have families and do very well. They dont ask for anything and they respect me. They are nothing like his idiots. What should i do? I cant even breathe I am so stressed out and hurt, I do not want him to see my crying because that would probably make him happy too.

Comments

puttingupwithdramainmaine's picture

Submitted by puttingupwithdr... on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 1:37pm

Thank you for your post. I know that in my heart what you say is true. i am just so afraid to start over again. I do not want to have to sleep on someones couch. I am such a home body and I work a lot and go to school full time so it is nice to be able to come home and get in my own bed i just feel like i could not survive starting over and belonging no place again. I am so lost feeling. His kids are fucked up and very selfish. they think of only themselves.

novemberm's picture

Submitted by novemberm on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 11:04am

I think that you need to seriously start putting money away and think about getting out of there. I know that is very hard, but this could be your life 20 years from now.

Your fiance is not standing up for you, nor is he making his kids accountable. Like you said, they will be on your couch forever, unless something changes drastically. Your fiance needs to step up and make changes NOW.

You should not be buying food for his sons. They should not be living with you. Let them go back to mom. This whole situation is ridiculous and completely unfair to you.

This is exactly why I would not move in with my boyfriend until he promised me his kids would not come, would NEVER come. They are 18, 19, and 22. The 18 year old is in high school, and when he graduates, he wont do anything, if he is like his brother and sister. The 19 year old has never worked, refuses to work. The 22 year old is now working 25 hours a week and she says it is exhausting. When she is not working, she is sleeping, drinking, or hanging out with bad people. The younger boy was on drugs, and all his friends are addicts or drop-outs who do nothing. The older boy is dating a minor and plays video games all day. ALL of them eat like pigs, so I know what you are going through. I would last about an hour with them. Their nasty mother created these monsters (she raised them to believe the world revolves around them, and they should not have to work). So, they will live with her the rest of their lives. I cringe when I think of the babies that will born....it will be a never-ending cycle.

I am so blessed because I do not have to see them. They are not even welcome here to visit, because their behaviors are so bad now.

I think you need to get those boys out now, or you need to leave.

You also need to tell your kids what is going on. They may worry, but they can be there for you, and you will need that support.

Hugs to you!

novemberm's picture

Submitted by novemberm on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 11:49am

I dont understand this either. My grandmom, who is 88, and on a fixed income, was DENIED food stamps.

I have spoken to different people and colleagues lately who are seeing a trend in young people who are capable of working getting welfare/stamps, etc. Their parents seem to approve and encourage this. I have a funny feeling my boyfriend's ex will try to get her kids to do this. NO ONE in her home wants to work, except her 70 year old mom.

I am working a temp job now that is so draining, esp. because I have a chronic illness. I am looking for permanent work. I get my butt up every day, and in the rain and snow it can be so hard. My boyfriend has back and neck issues and works 6 days a week in a physically demanding job. I work with people who have physical handicaps and other health issues who are coming to work every day.

I am NOT against welfare for those who truly need it, but when I see people, esp. young ones who are completely able to work, but collecting, it makes me sick.

puttingupwithdramainmaine's picture

Submitted by puttingupwithdr... on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 1:44pm

Amen to this, How in the hell does he get food stamps when he lives with us and he works and gets a paycheck every week? And the ex wife is a raging drunk that will not even give her kids a ride and the 17 almost 18 is following in her foot steps. Says he will go to college but wont work. He has never even had a part time job. What the hell, you would think he would want to make money. the ex gets the food stamps and the kid doesnt even eat one meal in six months there. He never goes over there ever. she is drunk all the time and useless and she lives on welfare while i get up and go to work by five am and have class and dont get home until nine at night. It really pisses me off.