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Am at my wits end with the SD

purplehaze's picture

Me and my fiance have been together for 4 yrs. now. He has 2 daughters, ages 22 and 23 and a 2 yr old grandson. I have 2 sons, ages 25 and 12. The relationship with his kids has not been very good since weve been together, although I must say I get along quite well with the oldest daughter. Its the other one who I have a problem with. She is in college and has been for the last 4 yrs. But when she comes home to visit, she makes a point not to speak to me, and also makes it clear to anyone around that she hates me. Her father has even tried talking to her about it, and all she will say is "I dont wanna talk about it". This makes it really hard to solve whatever problem she has with me. Her own sister has even told her to quit treating me that way, that she should respect me because I am their dads gf. I cant even talk to this girl, she never replies back. I told my fiance that the next time she comes into town I am going to leave the house when she visits. I get the worst feeling around her,(bad vibes and negative energy)I cant stand being around people like that. she seems so miserable and unhappy. I kinda feel sorry for her to have to carry such an angry emotion around (referring to the "hate" emotion)I should also mention that she treated my fiances last gf the same way. This was alot of the reason they split was because of his kids. But I still love my fiances children simply because I love him so much.

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purplehaze's picture

My fiance also said I shouldnt leave the house, but I just hate to think I have to sit in the same room with her and feel like I dont exist and am not accepted. My fiance is is so afraid to say anything to her about her attitude, but he finally did Sunday. I know he is afraid she will alienate herself from him if he says too much about it. (she alienated herself for a year or longer for this same reason) And that really hurt him. And it angers me so much to see her treat him that way as good as he is to her. I have tried putting myself in her shoes, and Im thinking I would be so happy for my dad if he found happiness with somebody. But she is not looking at it that way obviously.

ESM's picture

My SD26 (Bitchula) is exactly the same!
DH said he spoke to her about her behaviour, but I now know how he 'talks' to her.
Many SD's seem to have the same pattern. Things are fine when they think you are just a temporary issue. When the realization finally sinks in you aren't going anywhere the ice starts to form.I doubt many of them will ever change after doing this.

At Christmas time I nearly puked she was being so sweet and chatty in front of everyone. Do I think she has changed - no- she was probably telling everyone how I hated her and refused to be around her. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't going to let anyone think I didn't know my place and the fact she was a pedestal dweller with the sun rising and setting on her golden halo.