Yeah, not a single vegetable in any of those meals.

I cook from scratch probably 5 nights a week....and I work full time. There's really no excuse for a stay at home mom not to cook at least a few times a week. Or at the bare minimum open a can of peas for christ's sake.

Our BM only feeds them fast food and frozen/microwave stuff. It pisses me off to no end. I always have SS10 help me cook and explain to him about healthy eating. Now, its at the point where he will say things like "You would NOT like what I ate at BM's last night because it was fast food and I KNOW that is really bad for me".

Its so disgusting. They eat Hot Pockets almost every single day. :sick:

When skids were in school BM used to give them twinkies or chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. Skids said that was a nutrious breakfast because they had a glass of milk with it.

Back when SS was 4 and bm still used her weekend visitation she called once to let us know she was running late bringing him back. But don't worry she was feeding him right now....he was eating beef with lots of vegetables....lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and potatoes. She listed it all out and commented on what a healthy eater he was. Very proud....patting herself on the back for her stellar mother skills.

Yeah....it was a cheese burger from McDonalds and French fries.

Stop worrying so much about BM. I talk to our mediator in a friendly way & she told me that she cannot impose opinions re: meals on a parent unless the child has a medical condition affected by what a parent is feeding a child. I cook, my ex does not. I pack lunches, he throws money at them for school lunch. It doesn't matter, the kids are getting fed. Stop letting this BM control your every waking moment. Keep your house BM-free by not giving her free rent in your head.

I just typed this and it disappeared...grrr. Skid's Mom is a no cooking fast foodaholic. She straight up does not cook at all. She eats out every night or eats at her parents and they just cook prepackaged junk according to DH. I have posted this before, but when skid was around 3 1/2-4, I was baking a whole chicken, and he argued with me that it was NOT a chicken, chicken doesn't look like that, chicken is nuggets. He lives off of fast food or that greasy convenience store hot box stuff like pizza pockets, burritos, and corn dogs. That and all the junk food and candy he wants.

Before I disengaged, I used to try and fix things he would like, it just was not going to happen. I had to realize there was no pleasing this kid unless it was junk. If he were my kid, he would have set there until he got hungry enough to eat what was on his plate, but DH would always give in the whining and crying and let him have junk.

I cook all the time. I like to cook. I cook from scratch. DH and I eat out from time to time, my weakness is Chinese, but for the most part, I cook. When skid is here, I cook what I want and DH is responsible for trying to get skid to eat. He refuses, goes crazy, and gets the cupcakes DH buys before he gets here. Ridiculous, and I used to really throw a fit, but, he is not my kid, not my problem these days. I like to try new recipes, and my crock pot is my best friend. I have been going thru a period of extreme stress and depression, failed pregnancies, so, since I like to cook, I have let myself turn to food for comfort because I can make a mean cheesecake and homemade pizza, and I do like to eat, but it has caused me to gain weight. I get down on myself from time to time because I need to lose 20-30 to be back at my ideal weight, but when I start feeling bad I just picture BM in my mind because she is getting fatter by the day due to her fast food ways, and although I am heavier than I normally am, I am still NO WHERE NEAR her. She weighs at least 200 pounds and is 5'4.

I have recommitted to cooking and eating clean, and am currently doing a juice cleanse. I would LOVE to slip skid some spinach, beet, carrot, ginger, cucumber, and kale juice the next time he is here. He turns his nose up to all vegetables unless they are ff or tt's, I can just imagine his reaction to them in their raw juiced form.

We actually had a huge blow up out of SO's dd last two weeks ago that she couldn't eat the funny things in her spaghetti (vegetables I always put in and she's eaten before) she threw her plate when SO told her what they were and she's eaten them before and loved my spaghetti, she screamed that she couldn't eat it because she saw me cutting something and vegetables only come from cans at her moms so I had to of put something gross in it!
I slammed the jar of prego in front of SO (cause I was ready to scream I had a feeling where this new dislike of my cooking was coming from) and walked away. He read her the label she still had a fit screaming called him a liar and hit him even (oh yes she was punished for all of it) they were in the kitchen for an hour she never ate it, spit in out she was lucky she's not my kid heck even my kids were whispering about what would happened if it had been them.
It got really bad so I asked him to just leave her to sit in the kitchen alone for a bit then I went after she stopped screaming and was down to blubbering and offered her the same veggies raw that were in the spaghetti (I always add extra to the store bought sauce plus various squashes to get in enough veggies)
She watched me cut them and we tried them together and she really liked them, but she still refused to eat the spaghetti so SO sent her to bed had he gave her spaghetti for breakfast and told her it would be the same till she ate it, she did eat it and even asked for more leftovers for dinner that night because it was yummy and not gross at all. Later his ds told us that his sissy had been afraid to eat because when they had gone home before and liked my spaghetti their grandma (BM's mom) told them I hide gross stuff in it but he hadn't believed her cause it always tastes good.
I hide veggies in almost everything regardless of how I get it (box, can, homemade) since I know they don't eat for crap at BM's (taco's and pizza)Screaming like that over food will get a kid hungry to bed before I listen to that again though.

I don't think OP is fretting or worrying about it. Just mentioning and chuckling over it.

The skids used to eat frozen and microwave food at BM's, most nights . I think BM cooked at the weekend, like a Sunday Roast, when the skids were never there ?? DH was EW with them, all.the.time.

Apart, from the unhealthy food choices, it was a struggle to even get skids to sit at a table to have a meal. No table at BM's they always ate in front of a TV on their laps .....

My step kids' mom does not cook, which makes the fact that she spent thousands of dollars renovating her kitchen so unbelievably dumb. When he kids were younger they said all they ever ate for dinner was some kind of frozen pieces of chicken, which to this day I'm still not sure what it is. I cook from scratch and the kids LOVED when they ate at our house. They loved getting home cooked meals. I'm sorry but I think if you have kids it is your obligation to feed them healthy meals and I actually think everyone should cook for their kids. I hate hearing women (or anyone really) say, "I don't know how to cook." Really? Are you also saying you don't know how to read? Or follow directions? I don't think you need to know how to cook gourmet meals without a recipe but damn, get a Betty Crocker cook book and learn to make a few things! Saying "the kids are eating, they're not starving" isn't good enough in my book if all they're eating is frozen crap or packaged things full of preservatives.

At least you know what your stepkids are eating at the other house.

When I ask SS what he ate at his Dad's it's always a healthy serving of "I don't know" with a side portion of "I forgot."

My SS went on a health kick for whatever reason a few years ago. We also do a lot of "from scratch" cooking but were also looking to add more veggies to our meals.

I started to question him once I realized that he had kind of a weird "take" on what was healthy and not healthy.

So, I asked him what BM normally made that was healthy. He said, "Mom doesn't cook." :jawdrop: OK, I had long suspected this but never expected confirmation on it. I tried again, "OK, so what do YOU make that is healthy at BM's?" He said he would have either Lean Cuisines (chemical-city!) or sandwiches with no mayo (but WHITE bread!!).

BM also never has any big holidays at her place. They go to HER mother's and have HER do all the heavy lifting. I take pride in my holiday cooking so I just don't understand that at all.

SS13 is the size of an average 10 year old. Why? Developmental problems? Nah, BM has never fed the kid a vegatable in his life. He thinks that veggies are french fries. BM found about the only pediatrician in the universe who told them that SS didn't need to eat vegatables....WTF??? When you have a kid in the 5% in weight you make them eat healthy foods, 4 to 5 times a day. BM doesn't know what a healthy meal is. If it can't be nuked it isn't happening.

DH and I cook a lot. We try to not use processed foods and to cook from scratch. On skids weekends its a battle at every meal. We are frustrated with his poor eating habits and have even told BM, if you can't teach him to eat what is served then you provide what SS13 will eat for our weekends.

DH told me a story about how he'd lay out jars of baby food for the day when SS13 was a baby and BM would throw out all the jars of vegatables instead of feeding them to him. When he found the jars in the trash he confronted BM, she said he didn't like them so she didn't feed them to him. Ummm...BM let a baby decide what he will eat?? DH was furious and fed him vegatables before and after he went to work so he knew he would get a balanced diet. BM was just lazy and fed him cereal and formula all day.

Our BM doesn't even know how to cook!! She doesn't even have food in her house. SD22 lives close by and SD14 eats at her house. BM doesn't eat she smokes cigs and drinks coffee for sustenance :O

Our home is different SO and I both love to cook and we cook mostly from scratch, I use box stuff But SD loves our family dinner time.

I think this is something none of us should stress over-of course I am someone that would make some betty crocker boxed potatoes for supper so dont listen to me.

I can cook. I can cook all sorts of things-however I dont care to do so (fortunately for me my dh does most of the cooking)-but back when I did all the cooking-dinner some nights was frozen pizza (add a salad and fruit cocktail and imo youve got a well balanced meal). I regularly used instant mashed potatoes, canned items. I, gasp, even let my kids eat poptarts for breakfast once in awhile. I used frozen pieces of chicken (frozen chicken breasts from a bag) on a regular basis. Now, I must add that I love love love fresh fruit-eat numerous servings daily, love salads and always have the makings for those-but to each their own, kwim?

We never do fast food. Like ever. I live in a rural area and we have NO fast food.

I just dont think this is a make or break issue-we are all different and just because you make things from scratch doesnt actually make you a good mom (not saying that any of you are not good mom's, but IMO that's not the defining factor).

I have a former sd. She's probably like 30 now. She is like a total freak. She is obsessed with all organic foods, no vaccinations, halloween candy is evil-her facebook page is covered with propaganda after propaganda about how we are all going to die from vaccinations, psychiatric drugs, and hoho's. This is no way to live, IMO. I feel deeply sorry for her children. A hoho now and then is a nice treat. Chocolate easter bunnies are good once a year. McDonalds is even tasty on occassion. Moderation is the key, people.

For some of the kids that report back the junk they ate? Maybe they left out parts of the meal. Yeah, we had frozen pizza, but were not gonna mention the nasty can of peas dad opened and served because we think they are gross. Or for folks that visit their other parent eowe-I know for our family weekends tend to be a time of eating on the go, eating out, relaxing our diet a bit-so maybe what you are seeing is the very worst of their eating habits. Be thankful, that you can expose them to other things.

I just think that the OP is giving BM a lot of head space. This & the things about pictures for court, etc is all consuming.

Live your life. If you want a chuckle, watch an Adam Sandler movie. This woman is in the past. She is not a part of YOUR life, her ex husband & her kids are part of YOUR life & you seem reasonably happy with the 3 of them. Focus on that, not what BM feeds the kids or what activities they do at BM's.

I'm a SM & a BM. In my house, I'm Mom. I sign everyone's papers, I coordinate playdates, I organize birthday parties, plan trips, cook meals, pack lunches, punish & reward, as warranted. I worry about my house & let go of everything I can't change. Out of our blended family, we now have 3 kids who live 100% of the time with us & 2 who are too young to make those decisions. The BM occasionally makes me angry (when she hurts the feelings of the 1 who still goes back & forth) but I get over it & don't let her see my anger on her behalf. My ex plays favorites with our bios, the one who still sees him is too young to recognize this & I refuse to allow what happens at his home impact my home. Its hard, especially when prepping for court but heeding this NOW will reduce your stress overall.