Children talking to a Judge, Experience?
What experience do you have with children talking to a judge. Who want to live with you not the other parent. My SO’s girl (7) does not want to live with her mother, but with us again. We are on temp orders, and going to jury trial in May for custody.
Our lawyer wants her to talk to a judge while we are having a special setting in court during Spring break while we handle a few other things with BM. Like comtempt of court charges, and finding her a threat to herself to name a few. The girl has spoken to her clinical psychologist several times and always says the same, that she wants to live with DAD.
I want her back with us too, but just worried that the judge won't allow her with a trial coming up in May, and plus it's so close to the end of the school year already.
What do you think or what's some of your experiences with kids talking to judges? Our attorney thinks it can work she knows the judge and says he is all for what's best for the children.
I’m just ate up with worry! I know her mother doesn’t actually care about her children the way she should. She cares about hurting Dad by taking the kids far away, and getting child support, and winning. It's never a win win in custody, but that's how she feels. It’s a sucky situation.
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Here is how it went for my SD
Here is how it went for my SD when she was 11 at the time of court. Judge said that he WOULD speak with the child only because her maturity level was greater then her age.
The judge said that if SD is making these accusations and is making these statements about her mother then he would see no other choice but to speak with her because basically anything SD said to us and then we repeated to the judge was all hearsay. He said that if he even gets the SLIGHTEST hint that SD is lying or is just telling a story he will end the conversation and will not continue with any questions to SD.
SD, the judge, BM's lawyer, DH's lawyer, the GAL and a deputy sat in the courtroom and had the conversation. The judge came down from his bench to address SD. They sat at a huge conference table for about a hour and had the talk. If what SD is telling you is the truth and the judge will talk to SD then it could be a good thing. However, it is up to the judge whether or not he will allow her to speak and up to a judge whether or not he wants to believe what she is saying.
Even though your attorney
Even though your attorney says she thinks having the 7 year old talk to the judge is a good idea, I'd be cautious. My experience has been that attorneys will tell you what you want to hear so they can continue to rack up the legal fees. In most states, judges will not even start to consider a child's wishes as to where they want to live until the child is 12, and even then it's only one of many factors the judge takes into consideration.
I'd be extremely hesitant to have a 7 year old child talk to the judge. At that age it could look like you are manipulating the child. (not saying you are, just how it could look)
I'd focus on the contempt of court charges and the fact that BM is a threat to herself to show that she is not fit for custody of the child. Also, dad needs to show how he is superdad, how involved he is in her school and activities, to show that he is the better parent. Unless the child is being abused and you can prove it, the chances of custody getting changed just because a 7 year old tells the judge this are slim to none.
Well we had custody of the 2
Well we had custody of the 2 kids for 3 years awarded during the divorce, and BM filed false abuse complaint, and the judge gave her temp custody because BM had written in her report an outcry from the boy who was 11. (which wasn’t true) Even though we had a court appointed psychologist, and CPS both said there was NO abuse it was ruled out. The judge for some reason sided with BM. I really believe since it was election year BM made a contribution to the judges campaign, and got temp custody. I know it's shady but something was going on with all our evidence with against BM.
When DAD had the kids he was always doing things with them he was a very active involved father, so we have plenty of that to show. The kids also had perfect attendance and straight A's with us. Which in 6 mths they have been with BM their grades are C's and they have been absent and tardy over 6 times each.
BM didn’t pay child support in 3 years, she dropped of the kids twice one day late each time from her visitations, we have police reports, her friend at drop off told DAD she wished he would just DIE, and we have a witness, and police reports, BM was found to be alienating the father by the clinical physiologist, BM has suicidal history, theft charges when she accessed our bank accounts during the divorce, criminal mischief charges when she broke into my car, I mean my GOD the list goes on and on.
Was the judge that awarded BM
Was the judge that awarded BM temp custody the same one that your attorney says is "all for what's best for the children."?
Dad is involved with his kids - good.
The kids grades suffer when they are with BM - another point in your favor
Not paying CS, dropping the kids off late, and the criminal charges will have little to no bearing on custody. The PAS'ing might help your case, not sure about the suicidal history. Trust me, I've heard stories of moms who are drunken whores who still get awarded custody.
I'm not trying to be a negative nellie, just want you to manage you and your DH's expectations, that's all.
NO THANK GOD it's not!!!
NO THANK GOD it's not!!!
I know our local family judge
I know our local family judge will not allow a child under 12 in the court room under any circumstances, outside of a cps involvement. That any child younger is more scared and confused, feels pressured by parents, and is more often swayed by the idea of hurting a parents feelings than making a choice in their best interest. At 12 or over a child starts to develop a better clue that the "fun" parent isn't always the best parent for them. I'd not hang my outcome on what the attorney said it's up to the judge.