Decisions Decisions
Hello im 30yrs old and i do not have kids of my own. my hubby has 2 girls so i have 2 sd's, they are 14 and 6. The problem is i cant make a decision on if i want my own or not, my hubby and i already have a hard time finding time to be alone or just have some adult fun. the girls where gone to gramps for the summer and we had an amazing time alone but...... when they got back it was over back to the hussle, and everything else that goes alone with it. at this point i miss the time him and i shared, dont get me wrong i love my girls, just dont know if i want to start over or not, they can pretty much do for themselves so we kind of have it pretty goos at times. i am 50/50, half of me wants one and half of me dont. health wise i have a cyst on one ovary and history of breast cancer and age creeping up ( lol) which makes me want one to decrease chances. the half of me that dont, just dont. So my question is How did you know you want to be a mother out side of your step children, am i missing something??? i see other peoples babies and go awwwwwww i want one i cant wait then i get home and deal with reality and im like nope im good. not to put too much out there but the latenights and early mornings are getting a little old i miss the unexpected, the spontaneousness we had. Hunny dont care one way or another its all up to me and i cant make that decision yes or no. i am aware you guys cant make it for me but some advice may sway me one way or another.
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I know exactly how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way...I was never one of those women that HAD to have a baby. My ex was 18 years older than me and had 5 boys, so I had 5 step sons. They never lived with us, just did occasional weekends, and it was pretty easy with them so we did have a lot of time for US. And he left it up to me, he loved kids so would love another one, but left the decision up to me since he already had 5. At age 30 I decided to go off the pill and let nature take it's course, so to speak. I had a miscarriage early on, then got pregnant about 6 months later. We had a beautiful baby girl. I will never regret my decision, she has been the joy of my life. She is now 34 and she is going through the same dilemma. She is engaged to a guy who has 2 children. She also has some health issues and has been told that she might not be able to get pregnant even. I have a lot of friends who have no children, and they seem very happy. I just never had that nurturing, nesting feelings like some women get. But as I said I don't regret it! It is a hard decision to make especially because of the age of your husband's children, like you said they are getting self sufficient. You are still young and have a few years to make that decision. I'd give it a little more time and see how you feel in a year from now.
Thanks!! i just dont want to
Thanks!! i just dont want to wait to-to late. Hunny was already thinking of the age he would be when the two graduates high school.
The 14 year old is with us
The 14 year old is with us 365 and the 6 is only the weekends since school has started but with her dad is where she'd rather be so any and every chance she gets we have her.
I feel that if you want a
I feel that if you want a child, you should have one. It's a decision you will regret later in life if you wait and are unable, and it could turn into resentment towards your spouse if you choose not to BECAUSE of him.
The whole having skids and deciding to/not to based on their existence should be a non-issue. Yes, skids present a world of trouble in themselves but it's something you and your partner will overcome together (because having children in the absence of skids is still a huge embarking)!
Another thing to consider - if you are waffling on having kids with this particular person, maybe it's time to reevaluate if he is the right one for you. Granted there's no predicting the future, but it's important to listen to your gut on this one!
I've been with my SO for 4 years now, and about 6 months in while raising his son I knew I wouldn't want to raise his children. I have now wasted 4 years of my life because my lack of desire to have a family with him has turned into a lack of desire to want to spend my life with him.
Good luck in your decision.
There is Nothing my DH has
There is Nothing my DH has done to make me not want one.its me I'm not sure if I want one or not. He has 2 and would not mind another or not.