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FSD12 no longer has a phone

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

EX's bad parenting is officially biting him in the ass.  Today I received a courtesy call from FSD12's  (FORMER step daughter 12) phone informing me that she won't have a phone for probably months if not more. Why you may ask?

So FSD12, who I ABSOLUTELY adored (ya'll know I adored both the girls though).  Has been falling further and further though the more unbridled access to the internet she has had.  I found this a while back when she followed me on instagram and I realized that 1) she had an instagram at 12, 2) she had listed herself as bi.  Now her being bi, no issue, if I thought she had any preference.  When I left, FSD12 had ZERO interest in anything besides her games.  NONE, zilch, nada.  However, she is NOT a leader, and is definitely a sheep.  So to me this was just a sign of another "I'm trying to fit in" things.  Something I told me mom I saw coming from the beginning.  Was that she's been heavily neglected, and once I was gone, she wasn't going to have anyone, so I saw her hopping on a bandwagon and doing whatever to fit in. And probably gettin gpregant as a teen (I know awful) because a guy was going to give her attention, and she was going to cling to that becuase no one pays attention at home.

The point though.  She got onto a school computer, got into a chat room with lots of kids from her old school and her cousin. And they were talking about sexually explicit things and hurting themselves.  This ended with all the girls at the different schools having suspension, FSD12's cousin being kicked off cheer and spirit squad, (cousin's parents don't want them hanging out anymore) and FSD12 BARELY missing the mark for suspension.  Instead, since her school went through the messages and found the only part she participated in was the self harm part, her school is sending her to mandatory counseling through the nearby hospital several times a week and said that if they found any more evidence or any more mention of hurting herself they'd be sending her to a mandatory 72 hour psych eval at the hospital since they take those threats seriously.

EX went through her phone and found tons of messages from the cousin about how she's bi and wants a girlfriend but "don't tell her parents" and the same cousin putting throughts in her head about harming herself becuase life is "so hard" and yada yada.

So for the time being.  FSD12 will not have a phone or any form of social media accounts.  So I was given a heads up as I will not be receiving any texts from her (I wasn't anyways) and will not be able to reach out to her (love her, but again, wasn't really happening).

So I feel AWFUL that FSD12 has gotten this far.  But piss poor parenting really bites people in the a$$.  And I'm glad that FSD12's school is taking this so seriously.

That's my update as far as escaped stephe!!.  And I guess no reason to answer calls from FSD12 for a good long while as I'll know it's not her.  I'm really glad I made it out of that mess and that it's not my circus or my problem to deal with, and I really hope that things work out, but I can't save the world, and I'm not even going to pretend to try.

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As for the rest of life.  things are going pretty well.  The pills my psychiatrist has me on make me drowsy and nautious, but I have an appointment this next week with him to go over all that with him so we can evaluate if we need to swap pills or not.

I'm talking to a few guys very casually, finally making some progress on the house, and have gotten my sister just as into plants as I am, so it's been really fun to be able to bond over that.

I also facetime my one year old nephew literally every day, and he really enjoys it, takes the phone, is super chatty, blows me kisses, etc.  I LOVE that I have technology to be able to bond with him that way.

My pup that had a seizure is doing super great and shows no signs of anything having been wrong!  Which has been amazing after that scare.

Comments

CLove's picture

But such is life, yes?

No- you cannot save them, all you can do is love them and try to teach and encourage them to save themselves.

Good news on the plants and pups and your nephew!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Completley mixed.  

That is all you can do.  I wish I had a magic fix.  But it's liffe and I can't parent for them anymore, so they'll have to figure it out.

Also thank you!  My nephew is a pretty cute kid (helps I don't have to deal with him 24/7. lmao) and the plants are amazing!  I actually have one arriving in the mail today!

JRI's picture

I realize you loved SD12 but I have a feeling this is just chapter 1 of many issues and she's not even a teenager yet.  

advice.only2's picture

Wow I am really impressed the school took such swift and aggressive action, good for them. Glad to hear you are doing well and that you are moving forward.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise for FSD. She has access to a counselor, and her life has been, currently is, and likely will continue to be hard. Her dad doesn't give one shite about how his actions affect anyone else, so this may be the best thing to happen so she can learn *some* skills to maybe not follow in her parents' footsteps.

But, I am SO HAPPY to see that you're doing much better and have a much healthier mindset toward all of this. You know you can't save the world, and that is a really fantastic thing to recognize. I'm very proud of you!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Thank you!!! Smile

I do agree, I think this is what is best for her.  Her school it taking it seriously, and I think it may be one of the things that helps her the most.  They care a LOT more than the adults that are supposed to (ie her dad and mom).

I am doing tons better :)  I still have my ups and downs.  but I'm enjoying learning more about myself and fillin gmy house with plants.