You know, I guess if ex's do troll this site, I bet they have their own club where they get a bellyful of laughs watching us navigate the remnants of what they destroyed. Enjoy, you mutherfucking bitches. And watch out, because I'm guess there are sites dedicated to first wives, and those can be trolled as well.

Well, I guess that's the thing that has me running around like a tortured monkey in a cage, dreading the next experiment. '

Step Mothers do NOT deserve this bullshit. We inherert others' mistakes. No one questions me anymore, but there was a good long time where my family and friends could not believe that I would have no problem with the notion of my ex re-partnering with someone. I have always said the one same and simple thing: as long as she is good and kind, and treats my children well during the time they spend with her, I've no concern. Everyone knew how much I loved my ex, wouldn't I be jealous, wouldn't it bother me to have another woman around my sons?
My husband divorced me. He begged to have me back after my current husband placed a ring upon my finger. I simply said no. As long as she is good and kind, the notion of another woman actually relieves me because my ex is a cruel man. I want my sons nurtured and loved. When faced with the sword of Solomen, I will take it myself.
If she is not good and kind, she will experience my full range of coping skills for such a matter. And that would be right.
It's been, I think, three or four years now, no one seems to have been interested in having a realtionshiop with my ex. Cross that bridge when I come to it.

SA, I can't. I know there is so much wisdom in what you are saying, in everything you say. It is a bitter pill I try to swallow and cannot swallow. I know you are right, I know if I continue on this path I wll be divorced for a second time. But I can't, no matter how much I can see the long term benefit. I just can't. I guess I have limits that are painful for me to see, I have a lack of abiliity to compromise. I think that is part of what has me so lost. I want my husband, the only way I can function is through direct and intimate connection with myself and others. My sister tries to get me to strategize, and I can't. I am a damn good healer. But I suck at strategy. I may someday have the ability to be completely disengaged, but I lack the qualities of personhood which would enable one to be subtle. It makes me feel like a gerbil on a wheel, because I know you are right. And I have to look within. And try for that.

Dang it, I wrote a whole reply, and I don't understand what happens to half the stuff I write, it just goes poof. A person has to deliberately delete. Dang it, now I have to try to re create.

I can't go along with it all. I just can't. Like the time he was supposed to come out to what was then just my house during a night my kids were with their dad. She booked tickets for a spring break and told me that she wanted me, him and his mother to split the cost three ways to pay for it for her. My husband and I were just dating at the time. I knew I was going to marry him. This was so far beyond new territory at the time, I still had one child in diapers. I thought it was gross, not what one would do, but I wanted harmony because I knew we would all be in the same house house one day.
The night he was supposed to come over, he told me he would be late because now that princess had booked the trip and exhtorted payment, she wanted to go bikini shopping. So he, at her bequest, drove her to the mall and accompanied her to Victoria's Secret. She drew back the curtain, saying, "Dad? Look at me." And while re enacting the scene he had this reaction of, Oh my god, my daughter is a beautiful woman! On a gut level I understood the depth of the manipulation, but not on a practical level. When we were dating, on the nights my ex had my kids I would spend at his house, princess would rouse him from his room to drive her dumb ass to school, I would lay there, by the time he got back I would have to be up and getting ready for work.
SA, I see the wisdom, but I can't stomach anymore. I just can't.

NSS, you are correct. I am nothing more than a blockage to them getting what they want and I have been put in my place. Again. How many times now. He loves me so much, he'll never do that again, not even after saying to me how many times before he will never do that again. Once again, I've robbed myself of sleep due to worry and concern. And I have session soon.