I would like to apologize for not replying to the wonderful people who post on my blogs. I find it hard to reply sometimes because this site is kind of a secret and I dont get much private time. But I do read all the posts and I really appreciate them.

I hope people pardon my language in this blog but I cant help it. The stupid bitch who tried to befriend Ss (we told him to avoid her because she was bad news) started telling people in school that when she tried to perform oral sex on Ss, Ss started crying and didnt let her. It was all over Facebook apparently. This went on for a week. We do not know if its true or not because Ss wont talk.

Then some assholes from the lacross team decided to see what Ss was hiding. Five "tough guys" tackled Ss in the school hallways and removed his pants and boxers. We were told that as Ss was being lifted by the assholes, he struggled and he fell. He was knocked out for a minute. They took him to the hospital and said he had a concussion. And when he was sleeping that night we had to keep waking him up every two hours and ask him simple questions to see if his brain was affected. It was such a scary night. Ss cried and cried and cried. He was utterly humiliated.

6 boys were expelled and three more were suspended. 4 of the boys got probation. Ss went back to school for two days but the teachers have said he has gone back to not doing any work and wont even make eye contact with people. We were so excited when his grades were going up He has been crying after school ever since the incident.But Ss had a complete breakdown on Monday when it was time for school. We decided to keep him home for the rest of the week. We are now looking for a teacher to homeschool Ss. And we have already changed schools before. We have no more schools near us. We hate that we have to homeschool him. Both the old therapist and the current one say that SS needs to be in school or he will just isolate himself more and more. But what are we supposed to do?

And what got my blood really boiling was the mother of one the boys called me and said sorry. That was fine, I said I appreciated it. Then she goes on to say I should talk to the principal and get her son back in school. I blew my top. Called her a lot of terrible names and hung up. No wonder her kid turned out the way he did. We had two kids come by asking how Ss was doing but he refused to talk them. He refuses to talk at all. Even with the therapist where he would at least try before.

Last week, my Dh tried getting Ss out of bed, which is all Ss does now, lie in bed. Ss started yelling at Dh. Ss said he f****** hates Dh. He even threw a pillow at him. Dh came back very upset. He now is starting to believe Ss really hates us. Maybe that it is not misdirected emotion anymore. And then my Dh said he's tired of trying so hard and not getting anywhere. Maybe he should just give up. Just give up and try to give the other kids a normal life. I dont know what he wants to do. Send Ss away somewhere? I didnt know what to say. But in my head I was thinking the day we give up, we will lose Ss. And our marriage will probably crumble because knowing my Dh, he wont be able to handle it.

We removed all of Ss's doors again but we put curtan rods and curtains up for privacy. He has been acting very odd and the therapist told us to keep a close eye on him. And today he had two large bruises on his arm. And he wont tell us how he got them even though he has been in his room for the past 72 hours. My Dh was saying we should put cameras in his room. The very idea is so ridiculous that I should be laughing. Instead, I spent 30 mins googling good surveillance cameras.

So that's my bullshit life right now. How do we help Ss believe he can get past this when we are starting to not believe it ourselves?