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DH reminiscing with BM

porcelian-doll's picture

I want to slap him so hard his head spins. Nosey nancy I am I asked DH who he was texting. he said BM was sending him baby pictures of SD. He let me see the text.

BM: Hey I saw the pictures of SD and her baby sister such a cutie. I went through SD's baby pics. I'm gonna send you a few.

DH: Oh by text or are you gonna make copies? I have barely any of her baby pictures. You have them all can you make copies or just send them and I will?

BM: Oh sure thing I will make copies and send them with SD Saturday. But I wanted to email you a few I got digital copies.

DH: Fore sure. Thank you

BM: Did you get them

DH: Yep. Oh gosh I remember when we took her _________. Oh wow I almost forgot about SD's___________________

BM: Good times. Good times

DH didn't text back after that. The whole conversation made me uncomfortable and he acts like he doesn't know why. that pisses me off the most when he plays stupid. Its fine that BM is acting civil. And sending SD's baby pictures thats fine. But the drawn out conversation and reminiscing I don't like. And If I didn't ask him or look at his text how much longer would he have sat there reliving the past with her?
Am I overreacting ?

Comments

QueenBeau's picture

I don't think so. I think they were both enjoying it a little too much. & she left her reply open for him to say something else, without her looking like the aggressor. Seems like she still has more respect for your relationship than your DH who opened the whole "aw things were so awesome" convo

I would smack my DH.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

BM did this when DS was born. just as a "Oh your kid is cute... remember OUR kid is really cute too." DH loves any pictures of any of his kids and get caught up in memories of his "KIDS" as babies. He tries to block any memories with BM. i can say i got erked too at the time before i realized it a a despret attempt to get attention.

Mercury's picture

I am so repulsed by my husband's kids. They aren't hideous looking but I swear, the only thing I see when I look at them is their mother. I've told DH this and it hurts him. He points out all the characteristics that resemble him as if that's supposed to make me see them as ONLY his. I think he's delusional. They have so much of their mother in them. He must be subconsciously blocking it because to anyone else, it's plain as day.

Starla's picture

Well the "good ole days" are over!!! My Skids BM tried to relive history with my husband and my hubby replies "yea I'm glad them days are over!" and boom he shut her down. Many guys just don't realize the head games about that until its spelled out for them. Its time your hubby shuts this BM down when she goes down that road.

Sorry I just dang near felt your aggravation for you in reading your blog.

Steppy MN2's picture

My DH doesn't need any prompting from BM to reminisce. He says all kinds of things like when "we" lived htere or "we" moved there or when "we" built the house, etc. The he tries to claim that "we" means him and his kids. BS, they are all the stories from when he was married to BM. On top of that he happened to mention at our second wedding anniversary dinner that he had been to Hawaii twice. HE said once in the Navy and then he stopped short. I said "oh, who did you go with the other time?" Knowing full well that he had taken his BM to Hawaii on their honeymoon. He got the most sheepish look on his face. And I told him "it;d be really nice if you didn't bring up your ex and your honeymoon during our anniversary dinner". He never apologized although he claims he did. LAst night we had a big argument about something else and I brought it up and he gets all pissed at me like I shouldn't be upset about it and it was no big deal. He makes me feel soooooooooo special!

QuailCreek's picture

I'd rather remain in stealth-mode about going through his text messages. As long as the reminising is few and about the kid I'll just grit my teeth and have a glass of wine.

If they were talking about the edible panties during an aniversery trip. Yeah--He wouldn't find his phone. Heck he probably wouldn't find me either.

QuailCreek's picture

That makes two of us. At most, it would be a bit uncomfortable but I'd understand the sentiment.

queenofthedamned's picture

except... when you divorce someone you kind of give up the right to sit around and reminisce fondly about the time you spent together.

Especially when you're porcelain's DH, who's ex has repeatedly tried to make your new wife's life a living hell. eff that. That woman has tried repeatedly to harass and insult porcelain, from what I can recall. I really don't think her DH has any place conversing with his BM unless it has to do with their kid in the here and now. Porcelain, I'd want to slap him too.

misSTEP's picture

It is the start (or continuation) of an emotional affair. These are the types of conversation he should be having with his CURRENT wife - NOT his ex and certainly not when his CURRENT wife is at home with him!

Maybe his time would have been better spent bonding with his newborn!

Mercury's picture

My husband came to this realization and profusely apologizes to me for pursuing our relationship and for allowing ourselves to fall in love to such an extent that turning back was impossible.

This puts me in the terribly awkward position of defending our relationship (alleviating his guilt): No baby, I love you, I don't regret a thing! In reality I share the exact sentiments you expressed above.

However, neither of us had ever been in this situation before and neither of us could have possibly known how stupid his ex was going to get when she found out about me. Even hearing other people's experiences isn't enough to prepare you. Everyone thinks they will be the exception. Hell, even his ex thought she could be cool. It lasted all of 2 seconds.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

It is way inappropriate. I wonder how your DH would feel if you were texting an ex (whether you have kids or not because the dynamic and the title is an EX) reminiscing because he sent you a few pictures. There's a fine line between a personal "right" to do something and to making your marriage the best it can be.

misSTEP's picture

Exactly - sometimes I wonder about these men. Do they want to be "right"? Or do they want to be "HAPPY"?!?