I discipline mine. No one disciplines SS.

SO and I are pretty much a team :). We do it together and we back each other up on it. I will say though my nick name for him is "good times daddy" lol. He hates that. But men and their little girls what can you do. And as far as BM goes I dont give a shit what she likes or thinks. When she gets off the crack pipe she can have a say... well no she can't. lol

H & I both discipline BS6. SD is not disciplined when with us, but says her mom still spanks her.

We will BOTH call the kids down when it is needed. But when it comes to grounding, or a spanking (yes, I swat my girls on the butt) I handle mine, and DH handles his. I think that as step parents we already have an uphill battle with the stepchild. There is no reason to stir that pot when our kids KNOW that we love them no matter what. SK's aren't 100% sure of that even if you have a good healthy relationship with them, it is still a question in a lot of their minds. So disciplining further than a "knock it off" is something I let his dad do.

We both discipline SS2.5 and SD5 as a team. We give time outs/consequences pretty equally. Occassionally I'll catch the skids talking back to DF when he doesn't even realize they are doing it so I'll give them a warning about talking back, then if they do it, DF will issue the time out. I seem to be more of the "warning" person and then DF gives the punishment, unless it's a very "bad" offense and they need an immediate consequence and I'm the one that was present when it happened. I always tell DF right away though so he knows and sometimes we'll think of a consequence together.

DF and I both agree it is "our" household and therefore we both have a say in what happens. Some SP's out there don't have it this way... it works out very well for us though because we completely agree on parenting and disciplining. If we didn't, this would certainly be difficult to deal with.

In our house hold, BF has made it very clear to his kids that my word holds just as much power as his. BM does not discipline the kids so when they do come over here they misbehave a lot and we always have to set them straight. Because of our work schedules I am around the SKs more and I am doing mose of the disciplining. when BF comes home he gets the daily updates and will discuss what they have done wrong and how they should not be acting this way.

I know I'm in the possition to look like the stepbitch if that's the way the kids want to look at it, but me nor BF are going to change our standards and the way we want to raise these kids just so that we are their "favorite". We are not going to play that game. All we can hope for is that when they grow up they'll have sense enough to realize we did what was best for them.

It is NOT an easy possition to take but like I said I'm not going to change who I am so two little kids will like me. I know they love me, and it is out of my love for them that keeps me sticking to my guns and try and mold them into responsible human beings. BF has always been supportive and does not act like "don't you talk to MY kids that way".

If your going to share a life with one another you have to share EVERYTHING, including his kids. I wouldn't be with him if he expected me to share my home with kids I had know say in how they got raised

Sometimes its me, sometimes its H depending on who ss was with/ around at the time. Sometimes if it is something big, he will get disciplined by the one of us who is home with him and then when the other gets home we have a "talk" together as a family about whatever was unacceptable. BM is too busy being histrionic to pay attention to what goes on with actual day to day parenting matters.

Most of the time dh is here when skids are here and if something happens that needs intimidate attention he usually does it. I always wait to see if he is going to do anything first. If not I say discipline them. However most of the time he does do something about it. If dh is not home I take care of what needs to be taken care of. We do the same with my kids. If we disagree we wait till we are alone and talk about and come to a compromise.

I forgot to add bm's: She doesn;t ahve much in the way discipline at her house. She treats them like babies and when they whine they get what they want. The oldest is her fav. and he gets way more than the others and she caters to him. She even makes him a plate every night and takes it to his room so he an play the xbox.

DH and I are equals when it comes to discipline in our home - whether it's ss, biokids, nieces or neighbors. We are the adults that enfore the house rules. The rules are conveniently posted in the living rule and simple enough a 3 year old can understand them.

DH and I had been dating for about a month or two when SS (age 2) began biting people. I asked him how he wanted to handle things if SS decided to bite me - should I do something about it myself or defer to him? DH was very clear that I needed to set boundaries with SS much the same way I would with any child I was caring for. This set the stage early on for us to be a parenting team.

BM refused to co-parent with DH. She refused to discipline SS at all, and then stuck her DH with the responsibility when she remarried. It's no wonder they are now divorced.