Halloween Costumes for Skids - Waste of Time?

For the last 2 years we've had skids for Halloween. This year they are scheduled to go back to BM at 5:30 on Halloween.

I sew. Each year we've made costumes and I let skids design it. They help with the entire process, I give them jobs to do along the way.

This year I assumed since they aren't with us that BM would take care of the costumes. This past weekend I was working on DD3's costume (Hello Kitty - lucky me, it doesn't get simpler than that!) and SDs asked me several times to make costumes for them as well. I explained that they wouldn't be with us for Halloween but they still want me to make costumes.

I don't mind doing it. In fact, we have a great time in the process and the skids learn a lot. The problem is that I know there is no way in hell BM would let them wear anything that I had anything to do with. If I make costumes (lots of work and time involved) and send them over they'll go straight into the trash. I don't want to say this to skids and I don't want to refuse to make the costumes. This kind of thing has always been a great bonding experience for us but I'm also thinking that I could spend that time to get through all the 'Girl With The Dragon Tatoo/kicked the hornets nest, etc' series.

We could ask BM to let them trick or treat with us and we'd bring them home late but she'll refuse.

So I'm trying to weigh the options.

If I make the costumes:

On the pro side I have a lot of laughs and good times with the skids. The kids gain some design and sewing skills and get the satisfaction of having created something with their own hands which I believe is important. I admit there's also a petty part of me that knows it will piss BM off and I count that as a plus. (Yes, I'm a little ashamed of letting that be a factor).

On the con side I waste my time and energy creating something that I know is just going to be thrown away.

If I don't make the costumes:

On the pro side I don't waste my time and I can do something else instead.

On the con side I refuse to do something with the skids that we've always enjoyed and I'd feel like a meanie for letting them down.

What to do, what to do?

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I think it's a very nice

I think it's a very nice tradition you should keep going! When we don't have SD on halloween there's usually a festival or something on the weekend before that we let her dress up for. Do you think there's anything in your town?

No, Halloween is just

No, Halloween is just catching on here in the last few years.

We aren't scheduled to have them for Halloween again for mmmm 14 -16 more years if you factor in leap years? (EOW access)

But I know what you mean. It's been our thing and I hate to stop it.

this one has to be your

this one has to be your call..... waste time, energy and money or not.

if it is semi-enjoyable ~~ i would do it....... for the skids, but really to piss bm off!! }:)

and she may let them wear the costumes (so she doesn't have to buy any).... she just won't take any pictures or give you credit.

wish i could sew....

I'm thinking now that if

I'm thinking now that if nothing else they could use them for dress up.

Oh, no, if they go to BMs house I'll never see them again.

I probably will do it but maybe I won't put as much work into them as I normally would have.

I say we all go visit PA in

I say we all go visit PA in Ireland and have her teach us how to sew !

DO! You are all welcome. I can't guarantee we'd get much sewing done though. We'd probably spend too much time down at the pub.

If anyone is seriously

If anyone is seriously thinking of coming anytime in the future DO let me know. I'll show you around Cork.

Of course I am all for

Of course I am all for pissing off BM. I personally would do it just knowing the kids would go back talking about how great the costumes were or how much fun they had making them. I always love it when my SD goes to BM telling her the awesome things we did.

It drives her over the edge.

It drives her over the edge. I'm talking eriously batshit crazy.

The first year the skids were with us I taught the eldest SD to knit. She made a simple scarf with a lot of help from me.

BM had never knit and had never shown any interest in needlecraft at all.

The next time skids came over they told me that mommy was knitting a scarf for her little bunny - it's about a 3" toy.

The next time they came over they told me mommy gave up on it.

A couple months later was Christmas.

BM came up to the door with gifts for me and SO. Mine was wrapped in Christmas paper and instead of a bow it had one side of a piece of a knitted baby sweater - just the left front portion, no collar, no sleeve, just the one piece. It was curled up and looked pretty old as if someone had started it years ago and abandoned it. Inside the gifts were identical copies of the Barbie Annual from 2 years previous. These were her gifts to me and SO.

I was pregnant at the time but nobody knew but me and DH. She didn't find out until I was 8 months - a long time later.

Weird, very weird.

She hasn't gotten us any gifts since.

Oh my I actually giggled out

Oh my I actually giggled out loud at this story! On BM's birthday this year I helped SD make a necklace for her out of one of those bead jewelry kits. SD was sooo excited about it she told BM she had to wear it everytime BM and stepdad have a date. So SD forever has the memory of us making this necklace and guess what... BM forever has this memory too! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh my I actually giggled out

I agree with Marla...keep the

I agree with Marla...keep the tradition going...you never know when you are creating memories for those kids to look back on and enjoy (maybe even cherish!)

It's amazing what the kids will remember and think highly enough of the task that they want to do it again every year! My own kids (skids included) enjoy the fact that we still dye Easter eggs every year. We also still HAVE to decorate cookies for Santa (hello...my kids don't really believe in Santa any more, but we still have to do the cookies for him!) I always spend the week of Christmas baking goodies to give away to family/friends and I usually let the skids make a plate of goodies to take to their mom...so I get to enjoy that thought in my head
her: Oh these look yummy! Did you make these
Skids: No...Ms Wriggsy made them!
(I can also see her pitching them out the window when they say that...tee hee)

I really enjoy the fact that there are things that the kids look forward to doing with us every year...it means that we are making our own memories.

I say continue the tradition.

I say continue the tradition. Screw BM....you can't control her actions but you shouldn't let her control yours. Do what you would if she wasn't in the picture or better yet if she was a sane individual!

Tell Skids to ask BM if she

Tell Skids to ask BM if she will be getting their costumes. Once they ask her, BM will probably say why and then they will tell her that you are going to make them. Once she hears that answer she will def. buy them so you don't look better than her. So I think you will be off the hook this year. No sense in making them if she is going to toss them.

I say make the skids the

I say make the skids the costumes, and let BM be the bad guy if she doesn't let them wear them.

It will go down in the skid's historical memory as "the Halloween Mom didn't let us wear the costumes we made".

What a cute idea!!

I just had a thought. BM

I just had a thought.

BM refuses to send them over wearing any of 'her' clothes. We have a long history of clothing issues so now we buy all the clothes they wear here and they wear ours back and forth.

If I send them home on halloween wearing their costumes, I wonder if she'd them them back to us 2 weeks later in the costumes?

Well she can't send 'em back

Well she can't send 'em back naked! Do it!

I think you should do it,

I think you should do it, especially since it is something that you and your SK's enjoy doing together. Make sure you take plenty of pictures of them in their costumes, maybe even send them home in their costumes since they'll probably go out trick-or-treating shortly after they get home. If BM throws them away, that is on her and the SK's WILL remember that. Maybe DH needs to make sure he tells BM that the SK's helped make their costumes and this was their idea.

Surprisingly, we would do all kinds of crafts with my SK's and would send it home and the BM's actually kept them. I mean, seriously, how does a parent explain to their child why something is going to be thrown away, especially if it's something the kid helped do?

Do what makes your heart happy and don't worry about BM. She will do what she does. Yeah, it will be aggravating/frustrating/etc., if she throwns them away, but she might not.

Are there any other halloween

Are there any other halloween events before the actual 31st around there? I know that my dd is going to 2 different halloween parties. I believe that the mall in our area usually has trick or treating the sat before halloween and some churches have events over the w/e where the kids can dress up. If you can find any of these type activities I would go ahead and make them-however if there is nothing going on I wouldnt bother. It would upset me to know my hard work went in the trash. And I know we all like to piss off the bm occassionally, but she could end up taking it out on the kids and ruin their Halloween.

Thanks for your replies. I'm

Thanks for your replies.

I'm going to go ahead and do it. I'm sure if they get tossed out I'll be on here telling you all about it.

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Halloween Costumes for Skids - Waste of Time?

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