Okay so I have been a step mom for 3 years now and all in all it has been great...until recently! I have two step sons 17 and 7. They both have different mothers and they both live with their mother. My husband had his oldest for almost 13 years alone and the mother never even made a phone call. So needless to say he has some crazy issues and he is ADHD. We had insane issues with lying stealing and violence for a while and then out of no where his mother just showed up and he went to live with her and has been for 2 years and his behavior has just gotten worse but sad to say at least it is no longer my problem!!! We see him for maybe two weeks of the year because we live in a rural area and he says there is nothing for him to do here so he chooses not to come visit. Again, no loss to me!

My other step son however has always been a little angel...until about 6 months ago! First of all I get along amazingly well with his mother. In fact if it was not for the fact that we have to be "co-mommies" we would probably be great friends. With that said we parent very differently. She is also a very smart mouth person which though not always nice is expectable from an adult. NOT from a 7 year old.

We had our son week on week off till about a year ago when do to work and housing we moved to a different state. It was one of the hardest choices we had to make but in the long run this will be the best choice for our boys. We have totally flourished here and it was the best thing we could have done except now my step son has become out of control!!!

I am to the point I cannot even be in the same room with him! I have always treated him like my own even after having my son who just turned 2 our relationship was great. I have always been "MOMMY" and he has always been "MY SON"! I know us moving is taking its tool but I still do not get what happened. He is a little SHIT!!! I have never been spoken to the way this kid speaks to me EVER!!! My husband and I are very loving and crazy for each other but this summer we have been fighting like crazy! I have been a daycare provider or a stay at home mom all the time I have been step mom so I am the discipliner most of the time. It has never been a problem but I am getting so fed up with the disrespectful, ungrateful, pain-in-my-ass, negative influence, little shit I am about to lose it! I would never, could never ask my husband to choose between his son and me but I have to look at the big picture for my son and this is not some one I want him around. I am a lover and cuddle and love on my kids all the time, but I have not once this summer cause from day one he has been misbehaving! I am stricked but I try not to yell and for the most part do not, but I feel like I have done nothing but all summer with my step son. I do have high expectations for my children but if you set the bar they will reach it!

What do I do? My husband and I are fighting like cats and dogs which is not helping me feel warm and fuzzy for my step son! I have tried to tell my husband how I feel and we came up with some new forms of discipline but nothing worked and now he says I am just nagging all the time and for the first time ever my husband and I fought ain front of the kids and my 2 year old started crying!!! I could kill my step son (not literally)! I got so upset not even thing I yelled at him, "are you happy you are now the cause of another fight between your dad and me!!!" My husband flipped out (rightfully so) what was I thinking??? So now my husbands on the couch and I have the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and the worst part is I don’t even care if I hurt my step sons feeling I almost hope I did!!!

It has been so hard working my ass off 12 hours a day for the past year and a half to pay for someone else’s kid, then you get no say in what happens in their lives, like which school they attend or TV they watch or friends they have or forms of discipline used nothing! As a step parent YOU HAVE NO SAY BUT YOUR EXPECTED TO LOVE THE KID AS THEY WERE YOUR OWN!!!!!

I spent countless months crying over my step son wishing he was here and begging my husband to get more time with him. But he and his ex have never gone to court and they just agree on the custody schedule which more often than not means my husband nods his head yes and smiles and really has no say since he is with his mother most of he time. I begged for more time and I told my husband it was either more time or I was going to start shutting down cause I was a wreck all the time! It stated to take its toll on me and my son who I still nurse. after time I was bale to shut my feelings off but when he would come I would turn them back on but now with this growing horrible behavior I have to force myself to tuck him in at night and to top it all off my 2 year old started sucking his thumb for the first time ever and when I called the Doctor he said he is doing it to cope with a stressful situation!!!! Talk about mom anxiety!

I am at a loss I have no idea where to go from here! I am counting down the days till he is gone so my life can go back to normal! But I am already afraid for next time. I don’t know if my husband and I can handle this much division among the family. And I am sooooo tired of being made into the bad guy!!!

Please if anyone can help any advice will help PLEASE I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT MY STEP SON!!!