My DBF and I have had a wonderful relationship until recently even though we live 250 miles apart. For some reason at the mention of his EW's name I would cringe and go silent. I couldnt exactly figure it out until recently. Basically their divorce came about this way.

When they met and started dating she already had a child by another man. That man wanted nothing to do with the boy. She got pregnant by my now DBF. He guilted himself into marrying her because she got pregnant. She wanted to stay at home and not work. He busted his tail working 2 jobs. Meanwhile, he's in the process of adopting her child. And meanwhile, she's "hooking up" with a man online. My now DBF found out about it and BAM d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

Ok, I've made mistakes, but that is really low. Needless to say 3 months after the divorce she gets pregnant by another guy. Well, that guy left her and married someone else. So, what goes around comes around.

My DBF said a couple weeks ago that we both knew that this is it, me and him together as husband and wife, as a family. We arranged for a weekend to get the kids around one another, see how it goes. It went great. Except for something I found out about by accident.

His kids were supposed to have a soccer game and I was invited. My first thought is cool, but then I told him I'm not ready to be around your EW yet. Let me do it in my own time after I sort out my negaative feelings. Well, last week my DBF and EW were having a conversation and she asked him why I didn't want to be around her. He tells her it's because of what she did to him. Games got cancelled anyway.

Three days later she typed up a long email about me and it got forwarded to me by a co-worker of his because the guy thought it would be funny. She went off about how rude and catty I am, etc. A couple days later I decided to take it up with her directly via email to open discussion, ask questions, reflect back on what the other was saying. The EW ended up sending him an email saying how I was in junior high and tried to start a fight. I pointed out her contradictions to her and she didn't like it. She even said how rude her new husband's EW is. She is just the same. She makes judgements and has opinions of her own. This ended up in me finally telling her I'm not repling to you anymore, not trying to start a fight and this is about the kids and them being happy.

I had friends and family members read her emails and they all concluded the same things. That she still has feelings for him, she's trying to undermine me, and a master manipulator.

I don't know what the hell I'm getting myself into. I told my DBF this week that I'm not moving 250 miles away to be with him unless I'm engaged. He's not ready. He said he doesn't want to get married because he says "I did every thing right and it still failed." BAGGAGE. It screams "I'll never trust you completely with my heart". We're speaking less on the phone now and the conversations are simple. He seems to be throwing himself into work. I know he has a lot to think about. We're going out of town with my son next week. I gave him 2 opportunities to get out. Told him if you're unsure about us then don't go because I don't want to put my son through this. At this point he's still going.

I'm at a loss and don't know what to do other than wait and see, but it's killing me.