Tainted forever
I definitely don’t want to go back to my ignorant state on steplife but I find it interesting how it colors my view on dating now.
The local guy I have been kind of seeing has been away for a week or so. He ‘misses me’, lol. He just got back in town today and called me up and asked me to come over tonight. I was all ready to say yes and then he told me he is getting his kids tonight.
I’ve met his kids, they are ok, I really have no problem with them but I’m going to pass. Sometimes you just want adult time, especially when you have kids of your own.
I have no issues with him wanting to see his kids, I would probably think it’s weird if he didn’t but I’m going to pass on family night. . .
I feel bad for him, I know he misses his kids and wants to see them and he wants to see me while he’s back home for a day or so. But I just don’t feel it.
Steplife has tainted me. At one time, I would have jumped at the chance to spend any time, including family time with a guy I like. These days, I am finding I just want to do adult stuff.
The good thing is I feel no resentment that he is getting his kids. I always wondered if I would be jaded towards stepkids from now on.
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Not tainted
Just being honest and thinking about yourself and what you want not playing Happy Families with someone elses family.
This time it is about you and whoever you are with and not your family or his family. This is dating a man, not being a kidney donor where if he doesn't see you he will die. So he wants to see you but he has his kids. So what? He can see you when he has finished spending time with his kids. There is nothing wrong with that. Good for you!
I think you are doing the
I think you are doing the right thing. Following your gut, for one, and also letting him know that you will not jump just because he snaps his fingers.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to spend the evening with his kids.
It's like that Game of
It's like that Game of Thrones tag line. You know things.
And you're not tainted, just a wounded survivor. You've survived and overcome marriage to someone with a severe personality disorder. You've been tempered by fire, sweet Paint. You're actually quite bad a$$.
I love your story because you
I love your story because you are now smart enough to say Thanks, but NO thanks...before it's too late. I know for a fact that I am so jaded I would never look twice at any man with kids. Ever.
You are not tainted.
You are not tainted.
When we know better, we do better.
This time out you’re not going to be sucked into something blindly, you’ll walk in with your eyes wide open. You’ll do what’s best for you, as it should be.