Why torture myself???
I answered another call from stb exDH on my way home from work last night. He wants to "make it work", he thinks "we can start dating again", he is sorry that he never helped me around the house. He is sorry he never made SS show me respect and that he essentially dumped him on me and blamed me for his behavior, but acknowledged that I was never allowed to discipline. He said all the right things, offered to my "house slave" if I just give him another chance, so on etc.
The whole thing had me bawling. Why is he doing this to me?? I just don't understand. He said he didn't reach out sooner because he was trying to get me off his mind but he knows now that I am the best thing that has ever happened. He said he wishes he could go back 9 years and never have had his son :O . (That one kind of got me.)
Anyway, there is no fixing what is broken. SS is evil. DH is an asshole. None of those things will change and I want more from a marriage and more for my kids than living like this. It is just all so hard to listen to him say all the ways that he can fix us. If I was so important he would have done more when he had me. He would have tried harder after I went to leave the 1st time. He would not have told me to get the F out of his house and told my daughter that he was going to make sure she never saw me again. What the F is going on in his head?? Why does it hurt this much to hear all this crap??
You know what the most twisted part of it all is? My best friend pointed out that he just got all the bills in the mail. He misses my $... Sadly I think she is right. He can't afford our life without me. His name is on that massive mortgage, not mine. Same with his shiny new truck. Sucks to be him. I always lived within my means, and sure the house was perfect for a family with 2 decent incomes but for a single parent... nope.
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^^^THIS^^^ (((hugs))) i'm
^^^THIS^^^
(((hugs))) i'm sorry, overworked. dont torture yourself- if YOU decide to, you can always let him prove whether or not he's sincere, like misStep and her dh. if not, eff him, as SA and echo have both said, it's possible he's already shown you who he is..
It hurts because he never
It hurts because he never bothered to do it when you were there but now he's all promises. It hurts because you are still mourning the relationship you wanted to have. It hurts because you know your best friend is right.
Words are cheap. Like you said, if he truly wanted to change, he would have the first time around. I left my husband 3 years back, thinking that he would never change. He surprised me and did a complete 180. I am one of the lucky ones. Most guys will talk a big talk about changing but not actually do anything. Or they will do it but backslide a bit more and more as the months go on.
There is no forgiving how he made your daughter feel, in my opinion. It is hard. It hurts. If it didn't, you'd definitely need some therapy. But you are definitely doing the right thing. He can go find some sugar mama to foot his bills.
I know that is what will
I know that is what will happen. I am not sad about the loss of his as a husband, I am in mourning over what the relationship was supposed to be. He was supposed to be my safe place, my forever and in the end that was all shattered beyond repair.