I used to the the life of the party kind of girl. Outgoing, fun, optimistic. My exH stripped that away from me. I found DH too soon after my divorce and wasn't done figuring out myself again. DH is the kind of man who wants to be in total control- I won't be controlled again- that is the one thing I am certain of. Control struggles are 95% of our issues.

I am tired. I am so sick of the constant upheaval that has become my life!!! I finally have SS moving to a better place. The ADHD medication has helped SOOOO FREAKING MUCH! He is doing better at school (he got a 97% on his last math test, his average before meds was 12%!!) He isn't in trouble everyday and weekends with him aren't a giant epic battle after another. DH still won't follow through with any discipline but with the help of meds and my structure things are better .

But just as all of that insanity is dying down everything with my ex is spinning up! I need a break. I just want me and my kids on a beach somewhere for a week where we can just be our goofy selves an not have to deal with the rest of the world. We need a vacation bubble.

I can't walk on egg shells to make everyone happy for the next 11-12 years until my kids are grown. I will lose my mind!!! I need to be me again- who ever that woman is. I miss me.