What the deal with men that when we ask them to talk to their kids to pick up or do certain things they see it as we want to attack their kids. What do we gain from it. They wait until we stop and act as if we don't care and ready to walk out then start behaving...men!!! I don't get it.
My SD left her underwear on kitchen counter one time. I didn't say anything, packed my bag and left with my boy until he called looking for us later that day. Told him to look at the kitchen counter and he's better sanitize the whole place and I want her gone or I will not come back at all. He called back n said it was a clean one, I hung up on him. They are so disgusting. Sometimes I think there's nothing those crazy sk wouldn't do just to drive everyone crazy.

A.

Puke will run to DH and complain... guaranteed DH will tell Puke, well if you pick your stuff up and clean after your self, over step will do nothing........ see now DH defends you... it works.....
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I totally disagree Sally. I think DH will say..."overstep, how dare you do that to my little darling!!!? You are acting like a child." I almost guarantee this is what he will say.

Well your SO sounds cool about things like that. Not sure about over step.

BUUUUT...if she does it, she MUST come and tell us what DH has to say about it. lol

I don't know. I'd try talking to DH again. Tell him you feel like whether or not Puke keeps the bathroom up to your standards shouldn't be an issue in your marriage, and that the best solution, since you're the only one who has a problem with Puke's messiness, is for Puke to share with DH. You totally understand that it's not the most convenient for Puke, but it just seems like the easiest solution to make sure that Puke has a nice bathroom to use and that you don't get frustrated with the messiness. Since he doesn't have a problem with how Puke keeps the bathroom, then it seems smartest for him to share with her. And since it bothers you this much (and him not at all), doing this small act to keep this unnecessary conflict from becoming an issue between you and DH seems like such a positive way to treat you and your marriage.

In your own words, of course. But it just makes sense that you can't expect him to solve YOUR problem... but you can expect him to enthusiastically change circumstances that don't affect him so that you don't HAVE a problem anymore. Like if you guys have two vehicles, and he keeps his so filthy you're afraid to sit down in it. So when he comes to pick you up, for whatever reason, he can come in your car. They're both in the driveway, he still has to drive the same distance, and you're the only one who cares about which one he takes. Why not do you the favour? Costs him nothing and gains him goodwill.

Wait...why is she sharing YOUR bathroom in the first place?

can you make the one down stairs for you and let skid and dh have the one up?

I completely get your DH O.S.
Sounds like mine.
Avoids confrontation, doesn't like any comments about SDs from me (because then that means HE'S not doing something right), doesn't like correcting SDs at all - even if they are rude to his face. It takes a lot for him to correct any of their behavior.

I had to resort to locking up some of my bathroom things and moving items to our bedroom when we shared a bath with the SDs. They couldn't keep out of my stuff and DP refused to tell them to knock it off.
Now they have their own bath which I do not enter unless we have guests over (it's also the guest bath) to make sure that DP cleans it...because the SDs couldn't sully their little white lily hands by learning to clean up after themselves. The bath is disgusting most of the time (I can see things scattered all over, including random tissues and TP, I don't know how things don't get thrown away into the convenient trash can, I just DON'T get it!).

This weekend we were talking about how many kids of SDs generation don't want to do manual labor. That shifted to him relating it to my experience growing up on a farm and how hard my parents were on us. And that kids not learning IS the parents fault (he was initially trying to put the idea forth that the parents had nothing to do with kids being weenies about regular day-to-day chores which directly went back to ME telling HIM he wasn't doing it right.)

I had to explain that it wasn't the manual labor I had bad memories of, quite the contrary - the manual labor taught me how to do things on my own and rely on myself. Then he said, well the SDs don't live on a farm.
No, DP, they don't, but the "gross" factor of taking out the trash, for instance, needs to be addressed. They, esp. SD11 needs to learn to do stuff she doesn't like to do or considers dirty because what's she going to do when she moves out? How is she going to take out her own trash?
DP says, to my astonishment, Yes, I know. She makes that excuse but then her room is a mess and dirty and that's ok with her? She's playing me isn't she?
Me, Yes, she knows all she has to say is "Dadddddyyyy that grooooooosssss I won't do that." Then you will do it for her.
He did say he wants her to start contributing more to the household upkeep - which I support him in.

Then I just walked away.

I am just stunned he thinks the answer is for you to share your bathroom with her. Seriously. She needs to share the bathroom with her dad.