Good Morning,

I’m oortcloud, a new member of steptalk! Previously, I was a semi-regular member (under a different username) of Stepmom Central on Cafemom. Since CM shut down their forms last month, I haven’t had a place to discuss stepparenting.

Some background: I began dating DH when I was 19, and SS was 3. DH was going through a divorce after a whirlwind relationship with BM, who had moved on to her – now – husband. DH and I dated for two years, and married on our second anniversary. Together, we’ve gone on to have two daughters: ODD4 and YDD1.  

DH has always had 50/50 custody of SS. He used to have custody from Wednesday/Thursday night to Sunday night, but he and BM changed the schedule to week on / week off when SS was in kindergarten.

In the beginning, things were CRAZY high conflict. While that conflict really defined the beginning of our relationship, eventually things did get better! Through a lot of trial and error, both DH and BM have found a way to co-parent for the sake of SS. We are all – DH, BM, myself, and her husband – cordial and polite, with some instances of friendliness.

SS is now 11. DH and I have been together for almost 8 years (married for almost 6).

Outside of my experiences as a stepmom, I am also a stepkid. Both of my parents remarried when I was 4 and 5, and I have vastly different relationships and experiences with each of my stepparents (both of whom were divorced with kids, and had different relationships with their exes).

Thanks for reading my introduction!

                 -  oortcloud