I have decided that OSS20 can say he is over any conflict he and I ever had and he really likes me and loves his dad and whatEVER.
He dislikes me but I don't think it was just me.

He was very happy when it ws just him, his brother and his dad. But the last time that happened was 2003/2004. Since then his withdrawal has continued.

And you know what? It isn't ME! It would have been ANY woman his father got involved with permenently. He wants his mother and father to live apart and not fight all the time (understandably, no kid wants to see that day after day)but neither of them remarry or have someone permenant in their lives.

His mother has not had ANYONE since they divorced in 2002, DH and I married in 2004 and hi relationship with OSS went downhill from then.

It is easier to deal with knowing that whatevr I tried it would never have worked. It isn't all about ME! But in the nicest possible way!